It's Not Over
by WillAnyOneKnowYouLikeMe
Summary: Takes place after the episode Psycho Therapist. Amanda and Olivia are dating, and they think their nightmare is finally over but they both did not plan for what is in store for them.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: Hello everybody! This is my first SVU story. I got this idea after tonight's episode Psycho Therapist. I hope you all enjoy, and I do not own any of these characters. **

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><p>The Svu gang left Olivia in the courtroom like she had asked, and no one saw her slip away to the staircase where she was crying. Detective Amanda Rollins was getting nervous, she knew how hard this trial has been on her girlfriend. They have been dating for over a year now but no body knew.<p>

"I'm going to go check Liv" she told her coworkers and opened the door to the court room only to find it empty. "Shit" she mumbled under her breath.

"Everything okay?" Finn asked his partner.

"Yeah Liv just isn't in here anymore, I'm going to go look for her. Ya know how tough this has been on her." Rollins told him quickly and took off down the hallway.

As Rollins made her way down the hallway not even sure where to begin, she got a brief scent of her girlfriend and followed it to a door leading to a staircase. She looked over her shoulder quickly making sure no one had followed her, and quickly slipped inside the door.

She could hear the faint sounds of someone crying and quickly made her way down the stairs.

Olivia heard the footsteps behind her and quickly jumped up "Police" she shouted and Amanda threw her hands in the air. Olivia's body quickly relaxed when she saw the tall blonde. "Sorry" she mumbled under her breath and turned away quickly to make sure her girlfriend couldn't see her tears.

Amanda walked up to her girlfriend and wrapped her in her arms. "It's okay baby, it's over." Amanda whispered softly as she held the strong woman in her arms.

Upon hearing the soothing sound of her girlfriends voice and feeling her against her body, Olivia quickly lost all control of her emotions. She clung to Amanda as if all the strength in her body was gone. Amanda could sense the sudden weakness and lowered them both down to sit on the stairs not once losing contact with the woman she loved so much.

The couple just sat there holding onto each other in the empty stairwell when Amanda's cell phone went off.

"Hey Finn"

"Did you find Liv yet?" Finn asked

"Yes, I'm just going to take her home. She's tired." Amanda told him and Olivia squeezed Amanda's hand.

"Alright, tell her we are all here for her." Finn told her.

"Will do" Amanda told him and hung up the phone. She put the phone back into her jacket pocket, and put her fingers under Olivia's chin and gently pulled her up to look at her. "Ready to go home?" Amanda asked with a smile in that sweet southern tone.

Olivia nodded her head and couldn't help but smile slightly back at her.

Amanda drove them to her apartment, which in the last couple of months have become their apartment. They moved the items Olivia wanted out of her apartment and into Amanda's and kept it a secret of their moving in together. Amanda and Olivia were going to tell the gang about their relationship just before everything happened with Lewis. But since then the timing just hasn't seemed right.

"We are home baby" Amanda told Olivia sweetly, as they walked into their apartment and Olivia turned and wrapped her arms around Amanda's waist.

"Yes we are, and thank you for being so supportive. I could have never have made it through without you." Olivia told her before she placed a gentle kiss on her girlfriends lips. But as soon as the kiss started Olivia pulled away, Amanda was about to say something but Olivia quickly placed her fingers to her lips. "Don't speak, I'm not done saying what I have to." Olivia told her and Amanda nodded while she wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck as she smiled at her to tell her was listening.

Both women stood there looking at each other for a few minutes lost in each other's eyes before Olivia finished her speech. "I know I don't tell you this often, especially in these last months but Amanda Rollins I love you with all my heart, and don't even forget that. You are my rock and my strength when I feel like all else has failed and I should just give up. I don't deserve you, but I can't imagine my life without you. I love you"

Amanda had tears in her eyes as she heard these words she doesn't hear often pour out of her girlfriend with so much emotion. She saw the tears in Olivia's eyes and she knew they were matching her own. Amanda leaned down and pressed her lips against hers before she whispered against them. "I love you too."

~Four months later ~

It was 2:30 in the morning, the storm was raging outside their bedroom window. As if Mother Nature knew of the darkness that was about to be released.

Amanda and Olivia were wrapped up tightly against each other when they both were awaken by the sound of their cell phones going off. Amanda lazily reached over for Olivia's cell phone and handed it to her before she kissed her quickly and grabbed her own and made her way out of the room.

"Rollins"

"Benson"

Both women answered.

"Olivia it's cragen, we have a problem."

"Rollins, you need to get to Olivia's place and fast." Came Finns voice through the phone and Amanda felt her heart drop as she made her way slowly over to the door way to their bedroom where she could keep an eye on Olivia.

"What's goin on?" Amanda asked quietly.

"What's up?" Olivia asked her captain as she stared at her girlfriend.

And if on cue Finn and Captain Cragen told both women the nightmare that have been released upon them. "William Lewis escaped custody."

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><p><strong>Authors note: Thank you for reading, let me know what you all think. Should I continue or no? <strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note: Thank you all for the reviews and follows, Here is a second chapter for y'all and I hope you enjoy. Once again I do not own any of these characters. **

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><p><em>And if on cue Finn and Cragen told both women the nightmare that have been released upon them. "William Lewis escaped custody."<em>

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><p>As the news was delivered to them Amanda watched in horror as she saw the color in Olivia's face drain, and in an instant she dropped her phone and rushed to her girlfriends side just as her knees went weak. She grabbed Olivia just time before she hit the ground and as she felt her begin to shake she whispered in her ear "I got you, I am here. It's just me."<p>

"OLIVIA!" Cragen shouted through the phone when it went silent, and this was not the time for silence.

Olivia quickly grabbed her phone where it had landed "Yeah I am here sorry." She quickly told him, while she held on Amanda as if it was the only thing keeping her grounded.

"Rollins is coming to get you; I want you both down here now!" He demanded of her not wanting no for an answer.

"Yes captain." Olivia told him in a whisper, before she hung up the phone.

Rollins on the other hand completely forgot about her phone, until Frannie jumped off the bed and ran over to it. Without letting go of Olivia's hand, she reached over for her phone and quickly told Finn "Got it" and then hung up the phone.

Amanda placed her arms around Olivia and held her tightly, they thought this nightmare was over, but it seems that someone up there has it out for them, no make that out for Olivia. It seems she can never get a break, the jury found this man not guilty they believed this monster over someone who is a true hero and has protected them for all these years. "See Amanda I told you that I didn't deserve you." Olivia whispered under her breath but it did not go unnoticed by Amanda.

Amanda moved her body so she was in front of Olivia and took both her hands in hers. "Look at me." Amanda told her but the ever stubborn Olivia Benson did not look at her. "I said look at me Olivia" Amanda told her once again, this time in a sterner tone. It took a few minutes before Olivia did what Amanda asked and one she did, Amanda spoke. "I never ever want to hear those words come out of your mouth again. Do you understand me? You deserve me, actually you deserve better than me Liv, and you deserve the best in this world. I love you with all my heart, I have never loved anyone the way I love you. So don't ever think for a second, that you don't deserve me, because I am the one who doesn't deserve you." Amanda told her in a softer tone, and in that moment Frannie came running over to them and licked Liv right in the face which earned a laugh out of both women. "See even Frannie knows that's the truth, and loves you too." Amanda added with a giggle.

"Come here, you're getting some of this dog slobber too!" Olivia said with a tiny laugh too and pulled Amanda in for a deep passionate kiss.

"How long have you known me Liv, you should know that dog slobber doesn't bother me" Amanda told her with a smile when the kiss ended, happy to see her girlfriend smiling in this soon to be another dark time.

"Yeah well, c'mon you heard the captain he wants us down there, and he will probably send the SWAT team soon if we don't hurry." Liv told her while she began to stand up, and Amanda laughed knowing it was true.

Once Amanda and Olivia got themselves ready they both said goodbye to Frannie and got into Amanda car and drove down to the precinct. Once Amanda pulled into her parking space, she turned off the car but before Olivia could open the door Amanda grabbed her hand and pulled back. "What?" Olivia asked

Amanda looked around and when she saw no one was there she leaned over and gave Olivia a kiss. "That's what." Amanda whispered against her lips before she placed another. "I love you and I am right here. We all have your back" Amanda told her as she pulled away from the kiss.

Olivia nodded her head "I love you too." She told her with a smile and then they both got out the car and made their way to their squad room.

As soon as they both walked into the squad room all hell broke loose. "Christ Rollins, what took so damn long?" Finn snapped at his partner.

"Now there is no need to snap at her Finn, I had to get ready. It is almost 3:30 in the morning now." Olivia told him, knowing that her girlfriend didn't need the protection but with Olivia it was almost a habit. She was shocked no one had picked up on their relationship yet. But then again maybe they did and just haven't said anything.

"Yea because it took that long to throw on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt Liv" Finn told her with a smirk.

"Olivia, Rollins my office now!" Cragen snapped from his office door.

Olivia and Amanda looked at each other, before Olivia held out her hand telling Amanda to lead the way. Olivia followed Amanda into the office and shut the door behind her. "Please take a seat both of you." Cragen told the women and they did as he said.

"How did this happen?" Olivia asked needing to know how to hell William Lewis was able to escape custody so easily.

"He faked being sick, said he had a seizure. Once they took the handcuffs off, he killed both nurses, and took out the officers at the door and took their weapons." Cragen told them and Amanda felt her blood start to rise.

"Why the fuck did they take the cuffs off that monster" Amanda snapped which earned her a look from the Captain. "Sorry sir" Amanda quickly apologized.

Cragen nodded his head before he continued "They needed the cuffs off to be able to work on him. He faked it and he faked it good." Just as he got done explaining there was a knock on the door. "Come in" Cragen told them and all three of them saw Amaro at the door.

"Captain you might want to hear this." Amaro informed them and Cragen stood up from his desk and followed the detective out into the squad room, with Amanda and Olivia not far behind them. Finn was on the phone with someone and once he noticed that the Captain, Olivia, and Amanda were in the room he hit the speaker button on the phone.

Olivia's whole body froze when she heard the voice, which has haunted her for the past several months. Amanda saw in the corner of her eye the demeanor change in her girlfriend and she wanted nothing more to pull her close and tell her everything was going to be alright but she knew right now wasn't the time. Instead she settled on placing a hand on her shoulder as they both including everyone in the squad room listened to the voice of evil fill the room.

"Hello Detective Benson, did you miss me?" William Lewis asked, knowing full well he was on speaker phone and the one person he wanted to talk to most was finally there and listening.

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><p><strong>Authors Note: Sorry about the cliff hanger, but how else do you expect a writer to want a reader to keep reading? Anyway, hope you all enjoyed! Don't forget to review! <strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note: Here is chapter 3, and I hope you all enjoy. Once again I do not own any of these characters. **

**Also italics are song lyrics.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>"<em>Hello Detective Benson, did you miss me?" William Lewis asked, knowing full well he was on speaker phone and the one person he wanted to talk to most was finally there and listening.<em>

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><p>Olivia could feel the bile rise in her throat, when she saw Cragen motion to her to stay quiet. She didn't care anymore nor could she resist, she grabbed Amanda's hand tightly in hers and was relieved that Amanda didn't pull away but rather squeezed back just as tightly.<p>

"What's the matter Liv? Cat got your tongue, or do I have you all flustered?" Lewis asked and you could hear the smile on his face. "I really did miss you Olivia. I hope you missed me too. See I have something special for you well for us planned. But I only have one problem." Lewis told them.

"Yeah what's that? Cause you are going back to prison." Finn snapped at him.

"That's only if you can find me, but that has to be before your precious detective Benson doesn't kill me before you do." Lewis replied.

"Keep it up and I will kill you myself." Finn retorted back but was quickly cut off.

"Now now, why go ruining all Olivia's fun?" Lewis asked with a laugh before he went on. Now anyway back to the problem I have. You see I have these very special plans involving Liv and I, but they are just for just me and her. But the problem is there is no way to get her alone since she is always with that southern blonde Detective of yours." Lewis told the squad room.

Upon hearing this Amaro, Finn, and Cragen including Brian Cassidy scrunched their eyebrows together in confusion while the Amanda and Liv felt their heart drop. "There is now way he could know about our relationship" Both women thought at the same time.

"First off you won't get Detective Benson by yourself; second, of course Rollins and her are together they work together. Maybe you just forgot that since you know you were beat over the head" Finn told him in a rude tone.

"See that's where you are wrong detectives, and you call yourself law enforcement." Lewis told them with a laugh. "Amanda and Olivia have had a relationship for months." Lewis added yet again with a laugh.

Olivia had heard enough and finally she snapped, she had no idea how he knew that information but now the blood was really boiling in her body. "Shut the fuck up you sick bastard. You come near me or my coworkers especially Amanda I will fucking kill you this time." Olivia snapped at him and stormed out of the squad room making her way to the locker area, with Amanda quickly following.

"She sure does have a feisty temper doesn't she" Lewis stated.

"Shut up we will find you" Finn snapped and hung up the phone and looked at the rest of the members in the squad room and they all had the same look of confusion on their face.

Amanda followed Olivia quickly into the locker room, and locked the door as she watched Olivia slam her fist against the lockers. "Baby" Amanda said softly while she walked up behind Liv, and took her hand in one hand while she wrapped her other arm around her waist and turned her toward her and pulled her close.

"He knows, how the fuck does he fucking know?" Olivia yelled but Amanda just pulled her even closer.

"Shh baby it's okay." Amanda whispered against her hair breathing in the scent of her shampoo.

"How does he know, does he have someone following me, following us?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know baby I don't know" Amanda told her, she wished she knew the answer but she didn't. They stood there holding each other for a bit before Amanda whispered "We really should get back in there."

Olivia nodded but she didn't let go of her girlfriend, she liked being close to her, she felt safe for once in her life when Amanda was near. "I love you" Olivia whispered before she leaned down to give Amanda a kiss.

"I love you too, you ready?" Amanda asked.

"Ready when you are." Olivia told her and for once not caring she took Amanda's hand in hers and walked back to where all their coworkers stood waiting for them.

As Olivia and Amanda walked into the squad room hand in hand, they could see and hear their friend's jaws drop. Finn was the first to speak "That dirtbag was right?"

Olivia looked down at their conjoined hands and then back up at Finn with a smile and nodded her head.

"I knew it! Congratulations girls. But you hurt either one of ya's then I'm gonna have to take one of ya down to the hood and teach ya a lesson." Finn told them both before he wrapped them in a hug.

"Yeah Yeah you knew nothing" Amanda said with a laugh.

"How long?" Cragen was the next person to speak.

"Over a year now." Amanda and Olivia both said at the same time with a giant smile, given the circumstances.

"I am happy for you girls I really am, and I am happy that it hasn't interfered with the job but right now we have a psychopath on the loose so celebrating can wait. Can I see you both in my office?" Cragen asked and both women nodded and followed him into his office.

Once the office door was shut, the men stood their making sense of the recent situations. "Wow I never pegged Liv to be gay!" Amaro said out loud

"You haven't been around her long enough then" Finn chuckled

"Yeah well you have known her longer than I have, anyway nothing wrong with that. I wish them both happiness I just hope Lewis doesn't drive them apart." Amaro told them before Brian Cassidy shouted.

"FUCK HER!"

Both Finn and Amaro nearly snapped their necks to turn and look at him "Excuse me?' Finn asked

"That bitch was playing me this whole fucking time" Brian snapped his face getting redder by the second with anger.

"Whoa there hold up, Liv broke up with you. So don't you dare go calling her names because your dumb ass couldn't keep her let alone have the right equipment to please her." Finn shouted at him getting in his face.

"Yet after Lewis she came back to my place, told Cragen that and all. No wonder the bitch left as soon as we got there, to run to that fucking southern good for nothing gambling slut." Brian shouted this time catching the attention of the three people in the office next to them. "I am gonna give them a piece of my mind" Brian added as he made his way toward the Captain's door but was quickly held back by Finn.

"You aint doing nothing of the fucking sort" Finn warned him while he grabbed him tightly and just then the door opened.

"What is the meaning of this?" Cragen shouted into the squad room "This is not how I run my squad and now someone better tell me what is going on right now or you are all suspended without pay."

"That bitch used me" Brian shouted in his face and Cragen smacked him.

"DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT MY DETECTIVE LIKE THAT. Do you understand?" Cragen told him a warning tone, and Brian nodded his head. "Good, now I want you out of my precinct." Cragen snapped and motioned for two officers to escort him out.

"Anyone else want to be escorted out?" Cragen asked once Brian was gone, "Good, now get back to work" Cragen added once he got no reply and went back into his office and shut the door.

"I am sorry Capitan, I didn't mean for any of this to happen." Olivia apologized but was quickly cut off.

"Liv there is no reason to be sorry; none of this is your fault. And the way Brian reacted well that is his problem not yours. Right now we have bigger issues, and that is keeping the both of you safe." Cragen explained.

"Capitan" Amanda tried to begin but Cragen held up his hand.

"No this is how it's going to be; and I won't take anything but an okay for an answer. Liv, Amanda, I am putting you into witness protection until Lewis is caught." Cragen told them and Olivia eyes went wide.

"No, No, and No. There is no way I am hiding from this monster. That is exactly what he wants. He wants me to be afraid; it makes him feel in control. I will not do that, I am staying here and I am doing my job." Olivia told him in a tone that he has heard many times before.

"Olivia this is for your safety" Cragen tried to reason with her but he knew there was no point.

"No, I can handle myself. I will not go. I am staying here and I am catching this monster." Olivia told him.

"You might as well listen to her, because she won't take no for an answer." Amanda told her boss with a slight smile.

Cragen took a deep breath before he spoke again "One chance Liv, and that's it. Otherwise its witness protection the both of you" Cragen warned them and both women nodded their head. "Oh and one more thing, I want you both to take the day off. Compose yourselves, relax, then tomorrow you can work." Cragen told them "And that's an order. Officers will be placed at your door to the building and door to your apartment"

"Yes sir" Amanda told him taking Olivia's hand in hers knowing she wasn't happy with the order and together they walked out of his office. They said their goodbyes and walked to Amanda's car and got in.

The car ride was silent except for the radio; Amanda could tell that her girlfriend was not only angry but antsy. Olivia kept flipping through the stations not happy with any of the songs that were playing at that moment. Until one particular lyric caught her attention.

"_You're not the only one_

_Refusing to back down_

_You're not the only one_

_So get up"_

Once she heard the lyrics, she immediately turned the volume up to max.

"_Let's start a riot, a riot_

_Let's start a riot_

_Let's start a riot, a riot_

_Let's start a riot"_

"Oh jesus" Amanda mumbled under her breath upon hearing the metal song on full blast and the words to go along with it.

"_If you feel so filthy_

_So dirty so fucked up_

_If you feel so walked on_

_So painful so pissed off_

_You're not the only one_

_Refusing to go down_

_You're not the only one_

_So get up_

_Let's start a riot, a riot_

_Let's start a riot_

_Let's start a riot, a riot_

_Let's start a riot_

_If you feel so empty_

_So used up, so let down_

_If you feel so angry_

_Just get up"_

At this point Olivia was completely head banging and singing along at the top of her lungs to the song.

"_LET'S START A RIOT, A RIOT _

_LET'S START A RIOT_

_LET'S START A RIOT, A RIOT_

'_LET'S START A RIOT"_

When the song was over and before a new song could catch Olivia's ear Amanda quickly lowered the radio but it was too late, and it seems this radio station only played Three Day's Grace. Amanda thought when she heard the intro.

"_I can't escape this hell_

_So many times i've tried_

_But i'm still caged inside_

_Somebody get me through this nightmare_

_I can't control myself_

_So what if you can see the darkest side of me?_

_No one will ever change this animal I have become_

_Help me believe it's not the real me_

_Somebody help me tame this animal_

_(This animal, this animal)"_

Once again Olivia turned the volume on full blast and was singing along in a pissed off fury.

"_I can't escape myself_

_(I can't escape myself)_

_So many times i've lied_

_(So many times i've lied)_

_But there's still rage inside_

_Somebody get me through this nightmare_

_I can't control myself_

_So what if you can see the darkest side of me?_

_No one will ever change this animal I have become_

_Help me believe it's not the real me_

_Somebody help me tame this animal I have become_

_Help me believe it's not the real me_

_Somebody help me tame this animal_

_Somebody help me through this nightmare_

_I can't control myself_

_Somebody wake me from this nightmare_

_I can't escape this hell_

_(This animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal)_

_So what if you can see the darkest side of me?_

_No one will ever change this animal I have become_

_Help me believe it's not the real me_

_Somebody help me tame this animal I have become_

_Help me believe it's not the real me_

_Somebody help me tame this animal_

_(This animal I have become)"_

Once this song ended Amanda quickly turned off the radio "Hey" Olivia shouted at her blonde girlfriend.

"Hey yourself, I think I went deaf." Amanda told her "Plus we are almost home, and I don't think people enjoy hearing Three Day's Grace at full blast while they are trying to sleep." Amanda added.

"Well fuck them" Olivia snapped.

"Babe I get your mad, I really do but maybe we can channel your anger elsewhere." Amanda suggested.

"Yeah on that bastard's throat" Olivia told her and Amanda knew there was no point in reasoning with her because she would love to do the same thing right now given the chance.

Before they knew it they were pulling into the parking garage and Amanda parked the car and both women were greeted by the officers Cragen had assigned at the main entrance. "Officers" They greeted them.

"Detectives, have a good night. We will be right down here if you need anything" The officers told them.

Amanda and Olivia took the elevator up to their floor and saw four more officers standing guard. "We are here if you ladies need anything" The officers told them as well as Amanda opened the door and they stepped inside.

Frannie came and greeted them at the door and Amanda knelt down to give her a kiss after she locked the door, and then watched Olivia walk over to their picture frame window and stare out in the city. Amanda walked over and wrapped her arms around her from behind and held her tightly "Babe I love you so much, and everything is going to be okay." Amanda whispered against the sweatshirt clad back. A few moments of silence passed before Amanda asked "What are you thinking babe?" She could hear the wheels turning in her girlfriends mind.

Olivia turned in her arms and held her close before she leaned down to kiss her. "That I am so glad you are here." Olivia told her when she pulled back from the kiss. "And I promise nothing will happen to you, I won't let anything happen to you." Olivia added before she once again leaned down and gave her another kiss.

As the kiss got deeper, Amanda moved one of her hands up to Olivia's hair and tangled her fingers into the dark locks while her other hand moved down to the back pocket of Olivia jeans. She slipped her hand inside and pulled Olivia closer to her, Olivia moaned at this. She was always the aggressor with her past partners but with Amanda they both were on the same wave length it didn't matter it was always fantastic.

Olivia broke the kiss but quickly began to kiss down Amanda's jaw line to her neck where she began to suck the skin into her mouth. "Oh Liv" Amanda moaned out.

"That's it baby, moan my name." Liv purred against her neck before she bit down roughly which earned her a gasp from Amanda.

Even though she knew Amanda was enjoying the attention she was giving her neck, Olivia quickly stopped and kissed her way back up to her lips. She pressed her lips against Amanda's and quickly darted her tongue out to trace Amanda's and she didn't have to wait long for entrance.

Both women moaned at the feeling of their tongues meeting, and when Olivia knew her girlfriend was completely distracted by the kiss she lifted her up. Amanda quickly got the hint and wrapped her legs around her strong girlfriends waist.

Without breaking the kiss, Olivia carried Amanda back toward their bedroom and shut the door with her foot. She gently laid Amanda on the bed and moved to lay next to her. Olivia ran her finger over Amanda's hand a couple of times before Amanda asked "Babe what's up?"

Olivia shook her head, and Amanda wondered why the sudden change in her girlfriend. Amanda turned and placed her head on her hand while she placed her other on top of Liv's, "Baby we don't have to, we can just lay here." Amanda told her sweetly. She knew that ever since Lewis, it has been hard for Liv to get the images out of her mind of what happened. Even if he did not rape her, it was still traumatizing and just when they thought things were going good he came back.

"I know that, but I feel like it is ruining us." Olivia told her in a whisper. "I want to, and I am so glad we have been able to since the trial but now he's back." Olivia added now sitting up.

Amanda sat up as well and placed her hand on her back, "Olivia Benson, Sex is not everything in a relationship, and we just made love the other night. I love you and I love just holding you. I love falling asleep in your arms, I love waking up next to you, I love doing everything we do together. And nothing will ever change that." Amanda told her before she quickly added "And I don't think those officers outside want to hear us, knowing they can't join or watch." Amanda told her with a smirk.

Olivia smiled and pushed her girlfriend back on to the bed and straddled her hips "Well my love you are pretty loud" Olivia told her before she kissed her.

"That's only because I can't control myself with you, your just that damn good." Amanda whispered against her lips before she kissed her again and pushed her back over to her side and curled up next to her.

"Well I won't argue with you there" Olivia told her with a smile while she got up from the bed and made her way over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of Pajama pants and an old NYPD T-Shirt.

Amanda shook her head with a laugh "Now look who has a swelled head."

Olivia glanced over her shoulder at the blonde "Hey you were the one who told me I was good, I was just going along with you."

"Yeah sure you were Detective." Amanda giggled while she too got herself ready for bed for a second time that night.

"I was, and it is you who is the good one, make that fantastic, best lover I have ever had" Olivia told her while she walked up behind her and kissed her neck.

"Nice save Benson" Amanda told her with a smile.

"I try" Olivia told her while she now made her way to the bathroom Amanda followed and both women began to brush their teeth and finish up getting ready for bed again.

Once Olivia was done in the bathroom she made her way back into the bedroom, checked her gun and made sure it was on the bedside table, and got into bed. She pulled back the sheets and when she saw Amanda appear in the door way she patted her side of the bed and said "Come be my little spoon."

Amanda laughed "No more Orange is The New Black for you" Amanda told her with a smile as she got into bed with the love of her life and before they knew it Amanda was passed out wrapped up in Olivia's arms, hoping that when she woke up this whole night was just one horrible dream.

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><p><strong>Authors Note: Well there you have it Chapter 3, I hope you all are enjoying the story so far. And for those of you who have no seen Orange Is The New Black, The line "Come be my little spoon" is from there. Also for those who haven't seen it, I highly recommend it, y'all are missing a great show! <strong>

**Anyway don't forget to review! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors Note: Thank you all for the reviews and the follows. Once again I do not own any of these characters or the song mentioned in this chapter, nor do I own the ones mentioned in earlier chapters. **

**I hope you all enjoy!**

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><p>The storm was still at its peak by time 8am came around; Amanda Rollins knew she could sleep in since she didn't have to be at work, but something woke her up. She was lying on her stomach and when she moved her arm to reach out for Liv, she wasn't there. Amanda quickly opened her eyes and jumped up in bed to see Olivia was nowhere to be found in their bedroom. The bathroom door wasn't shut nor was the shower running, so she knew she wasn't in there. Amanda quickly got out of the bed and walked into the living room, where she found Olivia standing once again in front of the picture window looking out into the city just like the night before.<p>

"Liv?" Amanda asked as she walked up behind her, but Olivia stayed quiet. "Babe you alright?" Amanda asked again but she received the same answer, nothing. Amanda placed her arms around Olivia and held her tightly before whispering "It's okay, we don't need to talk. But I am not leaving your side."

Neither women knew how much time had passed while they stood there looking out into the city watching the lightning and hearing the thunder roll before Olivia finally found her voice. "I want you to take up Captain Cragens offer." Olivia whispered.

Amanda pulled back from Olivia and looked at her with wide eyes, she was surprised with Olivia's statement but there was not a chance in hell she was leaving her alone, where that monster could get her. Amanda shook her head and told her girlfriend "No I will not leave you."

Olivia rolled her eyes, now she knew how everyone else felt when she was stubborn, when she knew they were just looking out for her, and right now that is what she was doing for Amanda. "Yes, you are." Olivia told her softly and once again Amanda shook her head, but before she could say anything Olivia spoke again. "Please baby do it for me. It's not that I don't want you on the case; hell I know you could catch him with me. But I want you to do this, because I don't want anything to happen to you. I don't know what I would do with myself if something did, I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that it was my fault." Olivia told her softly.

"No Liv, I will not leave you, I will not go unless you come with me. We will catch him together, and If we are together nothing will happen to either of us. I can't go a day without you, so the answer is no." Amanda told her again.

Olivia breathed in a breath of air before she spoke once again looking deep into the love of her life eyes. "Look I can't force you to go but please think for a second before you make your choice."

Amanda shook her head and wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck "Olivia Benson I do not need to think about my choice, my choice is I am staying here with you. And that is final" Amanda told her with such assurance that Olivia knew that there was no changing her mind.

"Are you sure?" Olivia asked needing to make sure while she wrapped her arms around Amanda's waist.

Amanda nodded and pulled Olivia closer to her and whispered against her lips "Yes I am sure."

"Positive?" Olivia whispered back

Amanda rolled her eyes "Ask me again, and I will bring you into the bedroom and show you just how sure I am." Amanda told her with a hint of seduction in her voice.

Olivia felt her body temperature rise when Amanda's words hit her ears "Oh really?" Olivia asked as she raised her eyebrow in a way that she knew drove the blonde totally crazy.

"Yes really, I want to drag you into the bedroom, take out your handcuffs, and handcuff you to the bed." Amanda purred as she watched Olivia's eyes grow dark with want.

Olivia walked them both backwards until Amanda's back hit the picture window and kissed her neck. "Well don't stop there detective" Olivia teased.

"Oh did you want to know what I would do next?" Amanda teased right back

"You bet your sweet southern ass I do" Olivia told her while she kissed and sucked on her neck a bit more roughly.

Amanda moaned out loud and she could feel Olivia smile against her skin happy with the reaction she got. Amanda tried to find her words, but when Olivia was touching and kissing her like she was, it was hard to focus. "Well I would umm…" Amanda tried to speak but Olivia bit down and once again all words were lost.

"Don't hold back on me" Olivia chuckled and with that Amanda pulled herself together and told Olivia what she wanted to hear.

"Well where was I?" Amanda teased "Oh right, I would handcuff you to the bed, and then I would take out that special toy you know the one." Amanda purred in a sexy tone and Olivia's knees almost went weak.

Olivia kissed up Amanda's neck to her lips and placed a slight kiss before she looked her in the eyes. "And would I be wearing this said toy?" Olivia asked with pure want in her voice.

Amanda nodded her head slowly before she pulled Olivia closer and whispered in her ear "Yes, because I want to give you the ride of both of our lives."

Upon hearing her girlfriends words Olivia lost all control of her body and emotions, she lifted Amanda up and growled in her ear "Then what are we waiting for?" as she carried her into the bedroom and placed her in their bed. Olivia walked over to the dresser draw where they kept this special toy and glanced over her shoulder at the blonde leaning up on the bed and winked at her. "Don't go anywhere" she told her as she walked in to the bathroom.

While Olivia was in there, Amanda got up and quickly put on a pair of her shortest jean shorts and grabbed Olivia's leather jacket out of the closet to put over her black bra, grabbed a pair of her 'fuck me heels' as Olivia called them and to top it off she ran her fingers through her hair to give it a ruffled look.

Once she was done Amanda got back into bed and leaned over to where her cell phone was and put it on the music dock set to song and then she leaned to where Olivia kept her handcuffs and twirled them on her fingers while she waited for her girlfriend to return.

The bathroom door opened and Olivia stepped out wearing nothing but the strap on, and Amanda felt a flood of wetness between her thighs, no matter how many times she had seen Olivia naked she always got the same reaction, and she always took her breath away. "Miss me?' Olivia asked with a smirk as she looked at her girlfriend who had changed while she was in there and if Olivia thought she was turned on before that was nothing compared to how her body was now.

Amanda looked her girlfriend over from head to toe and gave her that sexy smirk and motioned with her finger to come here. Olivia slowly made her way over to where her girlfriend was and climbed on to the bed, where in an instant Amanda pushed her back and straddled her hips. Amanda gave her an evil look, which told Olivia she was in for it.

Amanda grabbed Olivia's hands and placed both wrists in the cuffs and then cuffed her to the bed. "I wasn't joking" Amanda purred in her ear before she slowly climbed off her.

Olivia watched intently as her girlfriend walked over to the music dock, where Amanda pressed play and Olivia heard the room fill with the sound of a guitar and drums. Clearly Amanda had forgotten all about the officers outside their apartment but at the moment Olivia didn't care and she wasn't about to stop her.

Amanda moved in front of the bed and started to give Olivia a show while she slowly took off her shorts to the beat of the music, when the shorts were gone; Amanda crawled onto the bed slowly like a cat and once again straddled Olivia's hips. "Kid Rock,Eh?" Olivia teased but was quickly hushed by Amanda moving her hips against hers.

Amanda danced on top her girlfriend, while she ran her hands though her hair and leaned her head back. As the song continued, Amanda slowly ran the zipper of the jacket down and then slowly back up, then down again before she sexily pulled it off and then her bra.

As the song neared the end, Amanda leaned down and growled into Olivia's ear the last lyrics. _"I wanna fuck you like I'm never gonna see you again." _

Olivia moaned out loud at hearing those words come out of her girlfriend, the song ended and the room was filled with silence, Amanda smiled down at her before she kissed her but quickly pulled back with an evil grin on her face.

Amanda slowly moved her right hand down her body, briefly stopping to tease her breasts before she continued her journey down. Never once did her eyes leave Olivia's, but Olivia was watching her hand.

Amanda moved her hand down her body until she reached her clit, and started to rub it slowly. She could see Olivia's eyes get even darker than they already were, and she began to moan softly.

Olivia watched intently as Amanda started to move her hand once again and inserted two fingers inside her "Oh Liv" Amanda moaned never breaking the eye contact.

Olivia watched as Amanda's fingers slowly went in and out, and as quickly as it begun it stopped. Amanda pulled her fingers out and slowly bought them to her mouth and sucked them into her mouth. Olivia moaned while she watched her sexy blonde girlfriend suck on her fingers. "Want a taste?" Amanda asked when she slowly removed her fingers from her mouth.

Olivia didn't trust her voice so she settled on nodding her head, Amanda smirked and leaned down and gave her girlfriend a deep passionate kiss. Amanda moaned against her lips as the taste of her own mixed with the unique taste of Olivia.

Amanda pulled back from the kiss but let her lips hover over Olivia's "I love you, are you ready for the main event?" Amanda asked with a smile.

"As ready as I will ever be" Olivia replied as she leaned up to lock her lips with Amanda's once again but Amanda pulled away slightly. Olivia tried again but again Amanda pulled away, Amanda smirked at her "You are such a tease" Olivia told her with a giggle and Amanda crashed their lips together.

Without breaking the kiss, Amanda reached down between them and found the strap on and positioned it at her entrance. They kissed a bit more before Amanda pulled away and looked Olivia deep in her eyes and then took the toy deep inside her and they both moaned out loud.

Amanda began to move slowly up and down on the toy while she moved her hands to Olivia's breasts. "Oh Amanda" Olivia moaned out and Amanda smiled down at her.

"You like that babe" Amanda teased

"Yes, but I would like it more if you went faster" Olivia told her with a wink as she pushed her hips off the bed and thrusted up in to her girlfriend.

"Oh fuck" Amanda moaned as she began to ride her girlfriend even faster and harder.

Every time Olivia would thrust her hips up, Amanda would meet her and push her hips down. The couple was now moving in sync, and going even faster and harder with each thrust. Both women were sure that the officer's outside their door could hear them but they didn't care.

"Oh my God Liv" Amanda moaned loudly and Olivia could tell she was close just by the way her body was now moving.

"Come on baby come for me" Olivia told her.

Amanda had all the encouragement she needed and she felt her body start to take over "Liv baby yes" Amanda moaned and Olivia thrusted up harder into her and Amanda came screaming her name.

Watching Amanda come was enough to send Olivia over the edge herself with "Amanda" on her lips.

Amanda crashed against her girlfriends body, they were both sweaty and panting when Olivia started to giggle. It was a rare thing when Olivia giggled so Amanda lifted her head and asked "Okay what is so funny?"

"I told you that you were loud" Olivia told her now completely laughing and Amanda couldn't help but laugh too.

Amanda uncuffed Olivia and they were now lying in bed still catching their breath when Olivia's cell phone rang. "Well so much for peace" Amanda mumbled while she reached over for the phone and handed it to Olivia.

"Benson" Olivia answered when she saw Cragen was the one on the other line.

"Liv, I know I told you and Amanda could take the day off but we a body." Cragen explained and Olivia put him on speaker phone so Amanda could hear him.

"What's the address?" Olivia asked

"I don't want you going to the scene; I want you and Amanda down here as soon as you can." Cragen explained

"Why can't we go to the scene?" Amanda asked

"Lewis has struck again" Cragen told them and Olivia felt her heart drop to her stomach.

"How do we know it is Lewis?" Amanda asked not wanting to believe it.

"He left a note, Olivia the note is for you." Cragen explained.

"What does it say?" Olivia asked in a shaky voice.

The line was quiet for a few, before Cragen told Olivia what the note said. "Olivia, one day we will be together, until then I am doing this for you. This is all on you. I hope you are happy that you made me do this."

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><p><strong>Authors Note: Well there is Chapter 4, I hope you all enjoyed this bit of fun. In case anyone was wondering the song Amanda was dancing to was "So Hot" By Kid Rock. <strong>

**Anyway, Don't forget to review, and let me know what you all thought. Any review's are welcomed, good, bad, Would love to hear all your thoughts it keeps me writing. **

**Also if any of you have any ideas or something you would like to see, you can either put it in a review, or send me a PM. This story is for all you readers, and I love writing it for you. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors Note: Thank you all for the reviews, I am so happy you are all loving this story. I do not own any of these characters. **

**Enjoy Chapter 5!**

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><p><em>The line was quiet for a few, before Cragen told Olivia what the note said. "Olivia, one day we will be together, until then I am doing this for you. This is all on you. I hope you are happy that you made me do this."<em>

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><p>Amanda clenched her fists tightly when she heard what the note said, how this guy even made it past his teenage years without someone killing him, she did not understand but she swore to God that next time she saw him, she would shoot him dead in 30 seconds flat.<p>

"Where is the scene I am going there now" Liv told Cragen is such a tone he very seldom heard her use.

"Liv.." He tried to reason but she quickly cut him off.

"No, I don't care I am coming down there." Liv told him once again and he told her he would text her the address and she hung up the phone, only to see Amanda looking at her. "Oh don't give me that look" She told her quickly as she got out of bed.

Amanda shook her head as she watched her girlfriend grab clothes out of the dresser and walk into the bathroom. It never ceased to amaze her on how just stubborn Olivia Benson could be. Amanda heard the shower turn on, as she herself got out of bed and made her way into the kitchen to make the coffee, which she was almost positive they would need.

Amanda lost all track of time when she heard Olivia emerge from the bedroom with jeans and t-shirt on along with wet hair. "Bathroom is all yours; I'll do my hair in the bedroom." Olivia told the blonde as she walked over to her and kissed her. "Thanks for making the coffee" She told her as she pulled back from the kiss.

Once again Amanda was shaking her head at her girlfriend, how could she be so calm? But she knew better by now, Olivia was holding everything in and she was beginning to worry even more about her. "I love you" Amanda told her as she made her way down to their bedroom.

"I love you too" Olivia called after her, as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

Before no time both women were ready to go, they said goodbye to Frannie, and then the officers as they made their way to Olivia's car. "Babe you sure you don't want me to drive?" Amanda asked and Olivia nodded her head as she got in.

Olivia started the car, and plugged in the address that Cragen had texted her into her GPS. It had been a rather quiet drive, but when they got to be about five minutes out, Amanda broke the silence. "Liv, babe?" Amanda asked and Olivia looked over at her, Amanda took her hand in her own and told her "I am here, and if you can't do this, or it gets too much just let me know. We will understand, we all have your back, and we will get this sick son of bitch."

Olivia squeezed Amanda's hand as she told her "I love you. And I will."

"Promise?" Amanda asked and Olivia nodded her head.

The pulled up to an abandoned warehouse, which was an old factory at one time or another. Olivia parked the car and both women got out. They held up their badges as they walked under the crime scene tape that was already set up.

"Amanda, Liv" Cragen greeted them. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked Liv.

Olivia nodded her head, as she pulled on her gloves and walked past him and her girlfriend. Olivia took a deep breath as she stood in front of the door that separated her and the next innocent victim Lewis had gotten to.

"How bad is it?" Amanda asked in a whisper she and the Capitan walked over to where Liv was standing.

"Bad" Cragen told her.

Olivia pulled the door open and the smell of Iron hit her nose within seconds. "Detective" A young officer greeted her.

"Which room?" Benson asked him and he pointed to a door where another officer was standing. "Thank you" She told him as she walked to the room.

"Detective" Another officer greeted as he opened the door for her.

Olivia stood there in horror; she swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat, as she felt tears fill her eyes. "Oh my god" Olivia whispered under her breath, in all her years in law enforcement she had never seen anything like the scene that was in front of her.

"Get to her now!" Cragen shouted at Amanda as he saw Olivia standing there frozen in horror in the doorway, and Amanda rushed over to her and she herself got the first glimpse of the horror.

Amanda gasped as she covered her mouth with her hand, she felt like she was going to be sick. As she closed her eyes, and she took a deep breath in.

She too had never seen a scene like this, there was blood everywhere. A body which could not be identified by just looking at her was dismembered and spread throughout the room. But the most horrific part of all was what William Lewis had written on the wall in the victim's blood. "This is on you Detective Olivia Benson. And she won't be the last; there will be many more until I can have you."

Olivia walked in the room and walked over to the head of the victim and whispered "I am so sorry"

"All right people quit standing around and do your jobs. I want every single inch processed, nothing will go without being documented and collected" Amanda barked at the Crime Scene Unit. "I want no contamination this time understand, if one tiny piece gets contaminated you can kiss you job goodbye." Amanda warned them which earned her a look from everyone in eye sight of her.

"ROLLINS!" Cragen snapped "Outside now"

Amanda rolled her eyes and followed him outside, "I don't know who you think you are, but I am in charge." He barked at her once they were outside.

"Then fucking tell them to do their fucking jobs" Amanda snapped at him.

"That is my job to tell them not yours. Step out of line, and I am taking you off the case if you can't control yourself." He warned.

"I want to catch this bastard." Amanda told him.

"Yes we all do, but that doesn't mean you can step out of line. We need to do this by the book." He told her in a calmer voice. "Now can I depend on you?" He asked and Amanda nodded her head. "Good, because we need you and most of all Liv needs you to stay strong. Now get back in there." He told her.

"Yes Sir." Amanda answered as she made her way back into the building.

Six hours later, Amaro, Finn, Liv, Cragen, and Amanda were back at the station, CSU was still at the scene, and Cragen knew that the processing would take a bit, but there was a rush. Amanda and Finn were chatting when the phone on Olivia's desk rang. "Detective Benson, Special Victims Unit." Olivia answered and waved her hand quickly to get Amanda's attention as she pressed speaker phone once she heard the voice on the other line.

"Hello Liv, I hope you liked my present." Lewis told her.

"I would like it better when the bullet from my gun goes into your head." Olivia snapped.

"Always so feisty and in control, who knew you would ever be the submissive type." Lewis chuckled, as Cragen made his way over to Liv's desk.

Amanda looked at Liv in confusion; he must have been talking about when he kidnapped her. When Liv didn't say anything, Lewis went on. "Tell Detective Rollins, well actually I am sure she can hear me so I will tell her myself." Lewis said with another laugh before he continued. "My my Amanda, you put on quite a show there earlier, never pictured you as a stripping type. Well nor a gambler but I guess we can all have a dark side. Oh and let's not forget about Detective Benson, you sure do seem to enjoy being handcuffed to the bed, no wonder you let me do it to you when we had our fun."

"YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH, WE DID NOT FUCKING SLEEP TOGETHER, YOU DID NOT RAPE ME. YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE MOTHERFUCKING BALLS TO DO IT. BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO MUCH OF A COWARD." Olivia screamed as she felt tears fill her eyes, all she wanted was this nightmare to end.

"Get her out of here." Finn whispered in Amanda's ear, and Amanda nodded as she walked over to Liv and pulled her out of the squad room.

"I guess I hit a nerve" Lewis laughed and Cragen had enough and hung up the phone, he was on the line long enough to get a trace, but Lewis had gotten smart and blocked the signal.

As the line went dead, Lewis laughed to himself once again. And pressed play again on the DVD player.

"Hey Buddy, did you watch this?" He asked the other person in the room with him and the person shook their head no. "Well c'mon, lets watch it." Lewis told them as he turned the volume on and watched the video once again. "God just look at how hot they are. Sucks to be any guy who slept with Liv, who didn't even know she was dyke." Lewis laughed out loud.

"Fuck you man" The person snapped and walked to the kitchen to get a beer.

Amanda was able to calm Liv enough to go back into the squad room, when they walked in Cragen asked "What was he talking about, did this happen today?"

"Either he has someone watching us, or he bugged our apartment." Amanda told him.

"I want a team there now; I want Amanda and Liv's place torn apart." Cragen shouted as he grabbed the phone when they all heard a familiar voice behind them.

"I think you all could use some help once again. Just like old times, I have things to fix around here.

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><p><strong>Authors Note: Okay so sorry for the cliff hanger. One question who do ya'll think are the two mystery people?<strong>

**Anyhow, hope you all enjoyed, don't forget to review! More Reviews, faster updates!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Authors Note: Thank you all for the reviews, I am sorry this chapter is short, but I hope you all enjoy. Once again I do not own any of these characters. **

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><p>"<em>I want a team there now; I want Amanda and Liv's place torn apart." Cragen shouted as he grabbed the phone when they all heard a familiar voice behind them. <em>

"_I think you all could use some help once again."_

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><p>Olivia turned around quickly when she heard the voice and felt her jaw drop. She never thought she would ever hear that voice ever again.<p>

Rafael Barba was just walking up to the SVU squad room when he saw the tall blonde standing in the entrance way. Even though he had never met her, he had heard about this blonde from many other lawyers, she was brilliant at her job and everyone knew that including the other SVU Detectives, and he knew he would never measure up to her.

"Alex, what are you doing here?" Olivia asked when she finally got words to form in her brain.

"I am here to take over the case against William Lewis when the time comes for the DA's office." Alex explained as she walked over to Captain Cragen and handed him the papers signed by the judge explaining everything.

Barba was astounded, there was no way someone was going to take away his case, especially not Alex Cabot, who thinks she can just come and go as she pleases. "Excuse me, but this is my case." He told her walking over to Cragen and taking the papers out of his hands.

"Well it's not anymore." Alex told him smugly.

"What is the meaning of this, you cannot take my case." Barba told her with everyone in the room on looking.

"I can, and I will. If you did your job correctly I wouldn't be here right now, now would I?" Alex stated and Barba squinted his eyes.

"Did my job correctly?" Barba repeated.

"Yes William Lewis has walked twice now because of you." Alex told him raising her voice, while she grabbed the papers out of his hands. "This woman right here" Alex stated pulling Olivia over by her arm "Has dedicated her life to protect and serve this city of New York, and yet you let a jury believe that she was the one to blame and not a victim of this psychopath." Alex told him now completely in his face.

"You have…" Barba tried to speak but Alex cut him off.

"Don't even waste your breath. I am taking this case over; you are no longer on it. If you so much as touch a case file, I will have your ass fired. And don't try to test me because I am not joking, I will not watch this man walk again. You should be ashamed of yourself, you call yourself a prosecutor but you let that man walk all over Olivia and everyone else who was on the stand. So if I was you I would get another job, because you sure as hell suck at the one you have now." Alex told him sharply.

Barba was pissed and he quickly stormed out of the squad room. "Well he sure got an ass chewing" Finn said with a laugh. "Good to have you back Alex." He greeted her before he gave her a welcoming hug.

"It is good to be back." Alex stated "It's good to see you Liv" Alex said with a smile before she pulled the woman in for a hug, but Olivia quickly pulled back. The gesture did not go unnoticed by Amanda, but she knew that her and Olivia had worked together for many years.

"Alright enough chit chatting, back to work all of you, and nice to have you back Alexandra." Cragen told the room and then they all went back to work.

A team was sent over to Olivia's and Amanda's and they tore it apart, Amanda went to the apartment but Olivia stayed behind, she had paperwork to catch up on. She was sitting at her desk, when she saw Alex walk into the break room. Olivia quickly got up and followed her.

"You really came back for me?" Olivia asked her.

Alex was stirring her coffee as she glanced over at Olivia, "Yes believe it or not I still care about you." Alex told her and then took a sip of her coffee. "And I didn't want to see that monster walk again." Alex added.

"I'm with Amanda." Olivia came right out and told the blonde without looking into her eyes.

"Kind of put two and two together when Cragen stated he wanted a team at your place. Congratulations you finally came out." Alex told her blankly.

"Alex.." Olivia tried but Alex cut her off.

"No don't explain, there is nothing explain. Clearly she means more to you than I ever did." Alex told her trying to walk past her but Olivia grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back.

"That is not true and you know it. You went into witness protection, you were gone. I didn't know where you went; I had no way of talking to you. Then you came back and just as you did you were gone again." Olivia told her trying not to raise her voice.

"I didn't have a choice Olivia, I was shot! In case you forgot about that, they were going to kill me." Alex told her through clenched teeth.

"I would have protected you." Olivia stated softly and she had no idea that Amanda had come back from their apartment and was listening.

"Yeah sure you would have, Olivia you couldn't even admit to us being together." Alex said a bit loudly before she added. "I said there was nothing to explain, so just drop it and let me do my job."

Alex yanked her arm free and walked out of the break room and she caught a look of surprise on Amanda's face. "She is all yours." Alex stated as she made her way out of the squad room.

Olivia stood in the break room not being able to move, first Lewis and now Alex was back, she just couldn't catch a break.

"Liv?" Amanda asked as she walked into the break room behind Olivia more confused than ever.

"Hey babe, your back." Olivia said with a cheerful smile as she turned around to give Amanda a kiss.

"What were you Alex talking about?" Amanda asked as she pulled away from the kiss.

"Oh you know just the case nothing important" Olivia said in a matter of fact tone as she pulled a mug down and poured herself a cup of coffee.

"Didn't seem like it was nothing important." Amanda stated as she looked at Olivia while she fixed her coffee up to her liking before she asked the question "You dated Alex Cabot? But more importantly why didn't you tell me?"

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><p><strong>Authors Note: Well there is Chapter 6, sorry for another cliff hanger. Hope you all enjoyed!<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Authors Note: Thank you all for the reviews, Once again I do not own these characters and I hope you all enjoy this chapter!**

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><p>"<em>Didn't seem like it was nothing important." Amanda stated as she looked at Olivia while she fixed her coffee up to her liking before she asked the question "You dated Alex Cabot? But more importantly why didn't you tell me?"<em>

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><p>Olivia stood frozen in place, she had no idea how to answer her girlfriend, she knew it wasn't right to keep the fact that she dated Alex Cabot from her, but she did anyway. And now here she was confronting her about it and she had no idea how to answer her. "It was a long time ago, it was just a fling. Did CSU find anything?" Olivia asked wanting to change the subject as fast as she could.<p>

Amanda rolled her eyes at how fast Olivia was to change the subject. "Yes they did, but that didn't answer my question Liv, why didn't you tell me?" Amanda asked again.

Olivia placed her cup of coffee on the counter and turned around and wrapped her arms around her blonde girlfriend's waist. "It was just a fling, what did CSU find?" Olivia asked desperately wanting to know.

"They found camera's Liv, everywhere, in all the rooms." Amanda told her holding back tears, and Olivia could sense that and she pulled her close and held her tightly.

"It is okay baby, we will catch him" Olivia whispered softly against Amanda's hair.

The two women stayed like that for a bit longer before Amanda pulled back and looked Liv in the eyes and asked "How long did this fling last between you and Alex?"

Olivia took in a deep breath before she answered her and she knew she had to be honest because she knew if she lied and Amanda asked Alex she wouldn't say the same thing. "Three years, it started shortly after she arrived in SVU and lasted until she went into witness protection, then we lost contact obviously and then she came back for a night and we spent the night together, and then she left again. Then when she came back we got back together, and then we started to fight and that was the end." Olivia rambled on without even taking a breath and she felt Amanda pull away from her.

"ALL THOSE YEARS AND YOU DIDN'T FUCKING TELL ME!?" Amanda yelled completely hurt. "LIV that isn't a fucking fling that is a god damn relationship." Amanda added getting angry that her girlfriend lied to her and it shouldn't matter but for some reason it did.

"Amanda, it meant nothing I told you." Olivia tried to reason with her but Amanda wouldn't stand for it.

"That is why you told her you would protect her right, because it meant nothing?" Amanda snapped at her. "Oh and should I add the fact that Alex said you couldn't even admit to you two being together, again not a fling but a god damn relationship." Amanda yelled at the brunette detective just before Cragen came rushing into the break room.

"What is going on?" He shouted at both women.

"Nothing, I am leaving." Amanda snapped at him and stormed out of the break room and then the squad room.

Cragen and Olivia both stood there as the blonde detective left before Cragen said "Olivia my office now." Olivia followed him into his office and he told her to shut the door and she did.

"I don't know what was happening with you and Amanda and I don't want to know. I get this case is stressful, but the whole squad room could hear you. I am telling you this once, personal issues stay at home they do not come to work. Do you understand?" Cragen asked her and Olivia nodded her head.

"Can I ask you something?" Olivia asked him and he nodded his head. "If someone you were dating didn't tell you about a previous relationship would you be upset?"

"It's hard to say Liv, did this person mean something?" Cragen asked

Olivia swallowed the lump in her throat before she answered "At the time this person did, and maybe still does."

"Then yes I would be angry, because I would worry that the person I was seeing would leave me for this other person since they hid it from me. Love is love Liv, and as much as we try to help it we can't stop falling in love with the person we fall in love with. Even once a relationship ends we will always care for them, because they were a part of our lives for so long." Cragen explained.

"Even if this person loves the person they are with now, and hasn't been with this other person in years?" Olivia asked

"Olivia what is going on?" Cragen asked in that fatherly tone, Olivia has grown accustomed to.

"Amanda found out I dated Alex." Olivia came right out and told him and Cragen's mouth dropped.

"Alex as in Alex Cabot?" He asked in shock.

"Unless there is another" Olivia smirked before she added "But yes Alex Cabot." She told him looking down at her feet.

"Wow Liv, I am just finding out a whole new set of things about you." He told her with a chuckle. "When did this happen, when were you two together?" Cragen asked

"Shortly after she arrived at SVU till she went into witness protection, then a little bit after she returned." Olivia told him, "But I didn't tell Amanda." Olivia added

"That is why you two were fighting, Liv why didn't you tell Amanda." Cragen asked

"I don't know it just never came up." Olivia told him softly.

"I am going to ask you a question, and I want you to be very honest with me." Cragen told her and Olivia nodded her head in agreement. "Did you love Alex?" Cragen asked and Olivia nodded her head. "Okay one more, do you still love her?" Cragen asked

Olivia stayed quiet for a bit before she finally answered "Yes, but I love Amanda with all my heart."

"Then you need to be honest with her." Cragen told her and Olivia nodded.

Rafael Barba walked into the empty house that was in the middle of nowhere, madder than all hell. "That bitch she stole my fucking case" He yelled as he walked into the kitchen and grabbed a beer.

"What happened?" Lewis asked the raging man before him.

"That bitch Alex Cabot came back…." Barba began to explain but was cut off.

"Alex came back?" Brian asked in shock.

"Yes she did, and she thinks she can just come back and act like she is in charge once again. Well she can't" Barba explained

"Then why the hell are you here now, if you aren't going to back down to her?" Brian asked

"Because she would have fired me" Barba explained and Lewis busted out laughing.

"Man you got your ass handed to you by her, just admit it." Lewis said between laughing.

"Whatever, well now I can't help you because I have no access to the case now. So you are on your own." Barba explained to Lewis who was still laughing.

"That's okay because guess what I have Brian here. And he will get the info I need, and then when the time comes, I have my backup plan and I know it will work because he will not let anything happen to his children, so he will do what I say." Lewis explained to the man trying to control his laughter but every time he looked at Barba he just lost it all over again.

"Yeah and who's that?" Brian and Barba asked at the same time.

"Elliot Stabler." Lewis told them both with an evil smile.

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><p><strong>Authors Note: Hope you all enjoyed, please review and let me know what you all thought. All of you are amazing who review, follow, and most of all read. This story wouldn't be here if it wasn't for all of you, so I thank you all from the bottom of my heart and I am so glad you all are loving it. <strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**Authors Note: Thank you all for the reviews! This chapter is a bit longer with all the rest, but hey that shouldn't be a problem right? LOL. Once again I do not own any of these characters. **

**Enjoy!**

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><p>"<em>Elliot Stabler." Lewis told them both with an evil smile.<em>

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><p>Olivia was getting ready to leave Cragen's office but before she did, Cragen had one last thing to tell her. "Oh Liv, by the way the department is putting you and Amanda up at a hotel since your apartment is considered a crime scene now." Cragen told her as he wrote down all the information she needed for the hotel. Olivia nodded and took the paper and walked out of his office.<p>

Olivia walked out of the office and saw Finn was sitting at his desk "Hey you know where Amanda went?" Olivia asked him

"Nah, she stormed out of here and haven't seen her since." Finn told her and Olivia just grabbed her jacket from the back of her chair and took off, she thought she would start off at the hotel, knowing full well that Cragen had given her the information as well. Then it hit her that Amanda drove them here, and she didn't have her car.

"Fuck it I'll just walk." Olivia mumbled to herself when she loss all patience waiting for a cab.

It took Liv almost a half hour to get to the hotel, she went up to the desk and told the woman the information and the name the room was filed under which of course was an alias. Once she gotten the key she made her way to the room, and saw officer's standing outside it. "Good Afternoon" Olivia greeted them as she unlocked the door and made her way inside.

A smile formed on Olivia's face when she saw the blonde woman standing in the kitchen area making herself something to eat. "Hey" Olivia greeted her quietly and Amanda jumped, she didn't even hear Liv come in. "Sorry I didn't mean to scare you." Olivia told her as she made her way up to her and wrapped her arms around her from behind and pulled her close. "I am so sorry I didn't tell you Amanda, I know it wasn't right to keep it from you and I feel horrible. And I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me." Olivia told her in a soft voice praying that Amanda would forgive her.

Amanda turned in her arms "Why didn't you tell me Liv? Can you at least tell me that much?" Amanda asked once again because she desperately wanted to know.

"I was scared" Liv finally confessed

"Scared of what?" Amanda asked of confusion "That I wouldn't date you just because you went out with Alex Cabot?"

"yes and no, I was afraid you wouldn't like me since I couldn't even confess to a relationship I was in with another woman. I was scared that you would think that I was just an office whore who dated everyone I worked with." Olivia told her looking deep into her eyes.

"Olivia Benson I could never think that, you only dated Brian and Alex, unless there are others I don't know about" Amanda smirked. "But why would I not like you just because you weren't ready to come out yet?" Amanda asked her

"Because I am a coward." Olivia told her softly.

Upon hearing that Amanda broke loose of Olivia's grip and took her hand while she pulled her over to a chair and pulled her close so that Olivia was standing between her legs with Amanda's arms around her waist. "You are not a coward, you are one of the strongest, bravest, smartest, caring, loving, seriously the list can go on and on, oh and shall I add most stubborn person I know." Amanda smirked at her and Olivia smirked back at her.

"Just had to add that last part didn't you?" Olivia asked with a smile

"You bet" Amanda winked "But I understand if you weren't ready to come out, and I know this isn't how you wanted us to come out. So I would never ever think you were a coward and if you don't believe me I can just go on and on." Amanda told her.

"You are right this isn't how I wanted us to come out, but I am glad we are. Because I want the whole world to know just how much I love you and I never ever want to be without you." Olivia told her as she leaned in for a kiss.

Just as the kiss got deeper Olivia pulled away. "I have to tell you something" Olivia whispered against her lover's lips.

"Okay" Amanda said with a nod of her head.

"You were right earlier when you said it wasn't just a fling, what Alex and I had was a relationship. One of the first ones I ever had where I was actually in love with the person." Olivia confessed and then paused to try to think of how she wanted to put what she had to tell her next.

"I feel that there is a but coming." Amanda whispered but Olivia silenced her by pressing her fingers to her lips.

"Please just let me talk, I don't know how to tell you this Amanda, but I have to be honest with you. I don't know if it was all the years I was with Alex, or how much we have been through together but I still love her." Olivia told her just above a whisper and Amanda's eyes filled with tears. Once Olivia saw this she pulled her close to her and held her tightly "No, no, no, I am not breaking up with you don't cry. I love you Amanda and I will never leave you. I love you with all my heart." Olivia told her softly.

Amanda pulled away from Liv and got up from the chair then walked into the bedroom area. "Amanda" Olivia called out after her and followed her.

Amanda pulled a sweatshirt over her head that was in her suitcase and turned to look at Olivia "I just can't talk about this right now. " Amanda confessed to her.

"I am not leaving you Amanda" Olivia told her a bit louder than she wanted to.

"Yeah but with Alex Cabot back and yeah I am glad she is going to try this dirtbag if and when we get him, but as long as she is here how the hell do I know you two won't hook up again?" Amanda told her right back in the same loud voice Olivia had used.

"It's called trust and I won't" Olivia shouted trying to pull her close.

Amanda stepped back and walked away toward the door to the hotel room "Trust, that's funny coming from you Olivia since you couldn't even be honest with me, I thought I could trust you but now I just don't know anymore, I need some space." Amanda yelled at her and walked out of the hotel room slamming the door behind her.

Olivia stood there in the middle of the room almost in tears, Her life was seriously falling apart and right now she didn't even know how to stop it. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and dialed a number.

"Hello" Came a voice on the other end.

"Hey, can you pick me up please?" Olivia asked choking back tears.

"Is everything okay? Where are you?" the person asked.

"At the hotel the department put me up in, and no Amanda and I had another fight, and I don't know where she went, I just need a ride to get my car, I know you probably hate me." Olivia told them before they could answer she added "Please just come get me." Olivia then hung up the phone.

Brian was sitting in the kitchen still with Lewis, Barba had left still is a pissed off fury, when his cell phone went off. He recognized the name come up on his phone and took the phone call in the other room. When the phone call ended he came back in the kitchen with a smile on his face.

"What the hell is your problem?" Lewis asked him.

"I just got a brilliant fucking plan." Brian told him with a cheeky smile.

"Oh yeah well, tell me wontcha" Lewis told him

"That was Liv, Amanda and her had another fight. She wants me to come and get her. I will track Amanda's phone, and now is when we add Elliot into the plan because he is going to pick her up. Work your magic." Brian told him before he went out to his car to track Amanda and then find a number to reach Elliot at.

Ten minutes later Brian came back and handed him a piece of paper "Call it, give him this address. And have her pick her up and bring her here." Brian ordered.

"Watch it; you don't give the orders I do." Lewis told him sternly and Brian nodded "But this is a good plan, nice thinking buddy." Lewis added with a smile.

"Alright I'm off to get Liv," Brian told him and then left just as Lewis picked up the phone and dialed the number Brian had given him.

After a few rings, a woman answered. "Hello is Elliot Stabler there please?" Lewis asked with charm in his voice.

"Just a second" The woman replied before yelling "DAD, PHONE"

After a few minutes Elliot finally came to the phone "Hello"

"Hello Elliot" Lewis greeted him

"Who is this?" Elliot asked

"You don't know me yet, but you will meet me fairly shortly. Do you know a Olivia Benson?" Lewis asked

Elliot felt his heart drop before he answered "Yes I do, is she ok?"

"No I am afraid she isn't, she has been in a terrible accident. I need you to pick up Amanda Rollins at the Caesars World Resort Casino. Tell her not to call anyone because they are with Liv." Lewis explained

"And where would you like me to bring her once I have her?" Elliot asked quickly concerned about Liv. Lewis gave him the address he need and then told him to hurry. Elliot didn't need to ask about what Amanda Rollins looked like because he had seen her in the news a couple of times.

"Excellent now hurry." Lewis told him before hanging up the phone.

Brian rushed over to where Olivia said she was and made his way to her room. He saw the officers outside and greeted them before he knocked on the door. Olivia answered within seconds "Oh thank you for coming." Olivia told him as she grabbed her coat and then walked out of the hotel room and followed him to his car.

"So how did you get here?" Brian asked once they were in his car.

"I walked from the station." Olivia told him with a laugh now seeing that it was raining. "Well it wasn't raining then."

"Oh" Brian mumbled

"Look Brian I am sorry for everything…" Olivia tried to tell him but he cut her off.

"Look Liv, don't worry about it. I was just mad, and overreacted don't worry." He told her softly. "Now where is your car?" He asked her as he continued to drive.

"Our apartment, Amanda's place" she told him and she could literally hear the eyes roll in his head. He may act like he is fine, but she knows he isn't but she didn't want to press it.

Elliot made his way to the casino as fast he could without getting pulled over and then quickly made his way inside. He had no idea where to even begin to look for Amanda Rollins so he asked everyone he knew if she had seen her. When he spotted a blonde woman playing poker.

He rushed over to the woman quickly and taped her on the shoulder "Excuse me but are you Amanda Rollins?" He asked

Without even looking at the man, Amanda took a long drag on her cigarette before she asked "Who's asking?"

"Elliot Stabler, I use to work with Olivia Benson." He told her and Amanda's neck almost snapped turning around.

"What are you doing here?" Amanda asked in confusion

"You need to come with me, Liv is in trouble there has been an accident." Elliot told her and Amanda quickly threw her cards on the table and stood up.

"Take me to her now." Amanda told him.

Brian pulled up to Olivia's place and she took off her seatbelt, "Thanks." She told him as she opened the door. "And once again I am sorry." She told him as she got out of the car.

"Don't worry about it Liv, I'm not mad" He told her just before Liv shut the door.

Liv dug her keys out of her pocket of her jacket and made her way to where he car was parked and then drove back to SVU.

"Is she okay?" Amanda asked once they were in the car.

"I don't know, everyone is with her" Elliot told her and Amanda started to tear up. "You her partner now?" Elliot asked

"You could say that." Amanda told her and then looked out the window with tears in her eyes, trying to hold them back.

Amanda thought they were driving for ever when they finally pulled up to an old house in the middle of the woods. She saw an officer's car but still something didn't feel quite right in her stomach and that's when she saw William Lewis walk out on to the front porch. "Turn back now, get out of here it's a trap." Amanda shouted but just as she did William Lewis pulled out a gun and pointed it right at their car.

William Lewis walked quickly over to the car, Amanda wished she had her weapon with her, but she couldn't bring her gun into the casino. "Get out of the car…NOW" Lewis shouted at them. When neither one did what he asked he shouted again and raised the gun right to Elliot head on the other side of the window. "Get out or I am pulling the trigger."

Amanda and Elliot both unlocked their seatbelts and stepped slowly out of the car. "PUT YOUR HANDS UP AND ON TOP OF THE CAR. BRIAN GET OUT HERE AND SEARCH THIS BITCH" Lewis shouted once again

Brian came out of the house and Amanda could feel her blood rushing through her veins "You son of a bitch" Amanda growled at him

"Don't do anything stupid Rollins, or Stabler here gets it." Lewis warned

Brian searched Amanda while Lewis searched Elliot. "Bring her inside and tie her to the chair. I will handle this one." Lewis told them and both men dragged their next victims into the house.

Olivia parked her car in her designated parking spot and walked back inside. Once she walked into the squad room, and noticed that Amanda wasn't anywhere to be found. "Hey Finn, did Amanda come back here by any chance?" Olivia asked and Finn shook his head no.

Once Elliot and Amanda were inside, they were tied to the kitchen chairs with rope and duct tape. He grabbed their phones and dropped them the bucket of water, and then smashed them to pieces. "There now no will find you" Lewis laughed.

Olivia grabbed her phone off her desk and dialed Amanda's number and slammed the phone down when she got her voicemail as she shouted "Shit"

"Liv you okay?" Finn asked as he stood up from his chair and walked over to her.

"No we got into a fight and she stormed out and now her phone is going to voicemail. That monster is on the loose and I have no idea where the only person I fucking love is." Olivia told him to the point of tears.

Cragen could hear the commotion coming from his squad room and got up from his desk and walked out the door where he saw Liv in the point of tears. "Olivia what happened?" Cragen asked rushing over to her.

"I don't know where Amanda is, she stormed out and her phone is off." Olivia told him and just in that moment the phone of Olivia's desk rang. "Benson, SVU" Olivia answered and she felt her knees go weak and hit the speaker phone when she heard his voice.

"I have someone who wants to say hi to you." Lewis said and then added "You say something bitch I slit your throat." Lewis warned someone "Now say hi to Olivia, I know she misses you terribly." Lewis told the person.

"Hi Olivia" Elliot told her and everyone's jaws dropped

"ELLIOT?" Olivia asked

"Yes it's me…." Elliot started but Lewis cut him off.

"That's it times up." Lewis shouted

"Let him go, he hasn't nothing to do with this." Olivia begged him.

"Oh but Liv, we haven't even come to the main event. I have someone else here for you that I know you are looking for." Lewis stated and then laughed before added. "How is Amanda doing anyhow?"

Olivia felt all the blood in her body "Please no" Olivia begged

"Now you can talk bitch again, anything more than what I told you and I fucking slit your fucking throat with Olivia on the fucking phone got it?" Lewis asked and then Olivia, Finn, and Cragen heard the sound of someone getting hit.

"Please don't hurt her" Olivia begged again.

"Liv, baby" came Amanda's voice through the whole room and Olivia's knees went weak and Finn grabbed her.

"Please please don't hurt her or Elliot they have nothing to do with this, please, baby I love you so much. I am so sorry for what I have caused." Olivia begged now crying.

"Time's up until next time, let's hope this feisty blonde doesn't piss me off. Lewis told her and then hung up the phone.

"No please." Olivia sobbed and then heard the click of the phone being disconnected.

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><p><strong>Authors Note: There ya go, hope you all enjoyed. Don't forget to review! <strong>

**Also another little note, if any of you have twitter and would like to follow me, you are more than welcomed to at Brittany21693V**


	9. Chapter 9

**Authors Note: Sorry this chapter is a bit late, got a bit busy and wasn't exactly sure on how I wanted this chapter to go. Hope you all enjoy, and once again I do not own any of these characters.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>"<em>No please." Olivia sobbed and then heard the click of the phone being disconnected.<em>

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><p>Finn held Olivia in his arms while she cried, as everyone stood there speechless. "He has her, I didn't even tell her I loved her before she left, this is my fault I shouldn't have let her leave." Olivia began to ramble while she cried.<p>

"Olivia listen to me, this is not your fault, and we will find Amanda, and Elliot. Nothing will happen to them. Do you understand me?" Finn told her as he pulled her back and looked right into her eyes.

"We will find them." Cragen assured her "I want cell phones records pulled on Elliot; I want a trace on Amanda's car and her phone. Now people we have an officer and a former officer missing and help captive by this monster." Cragen barked at everyone in the room, before he went into his office and called every squad in the area.

Meanwhile in the house in the middle of nowhere, Amanda was tied to the chair in the kitchen with Brian sitting there. "You sick son of a bitch, you are supposed to be one of us." Amanda spat at him.

"And you are supposed to only date men, guess we both are in the wrong." Brian smirked at her, before Elliot opened his mouth.

"I never liked you"

"Well good because I never liked you anyway. Let me ask how many times did you sleep with Liv? Huh?" Brian asked him getting right into his face.

"We were partners, never once did we cross those lines." Elliot growled.

"And even if he did, he is probably better in bed than you." Amanda told Brian while she eyed him down.

With hearing that Brian snapped he moved quickly out of Elliot's face and wrapped his hands around Amanda's throat. "You listen here, you fucking slut. Don't piss me off, because I won't think twice of fucking killing you." Brian told her as he squeezed tightly.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Lewis came rushing in demanding answers.

"Nothing" Brian mumbled and Lewis grabbed him by the arm and yanked him backwards and pulling him off Amanda, who gasped for air.

"You are damn straight nothing; they will not die at anyone else's hands but my own you fucking got it? So you either get your fucking anger under control or I will fucking kill you. Don't think I won't" Lewis shouted at him and then threw him backwards.

"I got something." One of the CSU techs came rushing into the SVU squad room.

"What is it? Did you find them?" Olivia asked rushing to her feet.

"No, but Amanda's car was found at a casino nearby, video surveillance shows her getting into the car with Elliot Stabler." The tech told her.

"Did you say a casino?" Liv asked needing to make sure she heard correctly.

"Yes detective, but no word yet on their cell phones, it seems as if they have been destroyed because I can't track them." The tech told her.

"Fuck" Olivia mumbled silently "Okay good job, I am going to head to Stabler's place, see if anyone there can tell me anything." Liv announced as she grabbed her coat and left the squad room.

Olivia drove to Elliot's place, it had seemed like ages since she has and it bought back memories to when they were a team. As she rang the doorbell to the door, Elizabeth who has grown up so much over the years, opened the door. "LIV?" Elizabeth asked in shock.

"Hey Elizabeth, you seem shocked to see me?" Liv greeted her.

"I thought you were hurt, then where the hell is my dad?" Elizabeth asked as she let Olivia in.

"That's why I am here, I take it you were home when you dad left?" LIv asked as she took a seat on the couch.

"Yes, would you like anything to drink" Elizabeth asked

"No thanks, can you tell me what happened before you dad left?" Liv asked and Elizabeth nodded while she took a seat next to her dad's old partner.

"The phone rang, I picked it up some man asked if Elliot Stabler was there and I said hold on. I gave the phone to my dad, and next thing I knew he said you were in trouble, and he need to go and get Amanda Rollins at some Casino and then bring her some place." Elizabeth told her before she asked "Is my dad alright?"

Olivia placed an arm around Elizabeth and pulled her close "I'm sorry honey, but you dad and Amanda were kidnapped by William Lewis." Olivia told her but Elizabeth cut her off.

"The one that kidnapped you?" Elizabeth asked in shock.

"Yes, but I promise you I will find them, and I will bring you father home safe. You have my word." Liv promised the girl. "Did you dad happen to write down the address where he was going?" Liv asked praying that Elliot did.

"He did, but he took it with him." Elizabeth told her and Olvia smiled.

"Please tell me he wrote it on a notepad and just ripped the page?" Olivia asked and Elizabeth nodded "Can I have that please?" Olivia asked and Elizabeth went to get the notepad and handed it to her. "Oh thank you, and thank god you dad hasn't changed." Liv told her with a giant smile.

Olivia stayed for a bit longer, before she left and told everyone she would keep them informed. She drove as fast as she could back to the station and running into the squad room where she ran into one of the techs. "Oh thank god, please test this. Elliot wrote down the address." Olivia told the tech and handed her the notepad, and watched the tech leave the room.

As if on cue, and they knew Olivia Benson had walked back into the squad room her phone rang on her desk. Olivia hit speaker phone as she answered "Benson"

"Hello Detective Benson" Lewis greeted her.

"Amanda baby can you hear me?" Olivia asked not even knowing if she was on speaker phone but she need to know

"Don't worry your precious Amanda is safe for now, but if she keeps up her attitude I can't promise that to be the case for much longer." Lewis warned as he watched Amanda squirm in her chair, before he hit her across the face with his gun.

"Fuck you" Amanda growled in pain

"Watch it Blondie, you like being a live don't you?" Lewis asked with a laugh

"I swear to god if you hurt either of them, you don't want them, you want me. Come after me" Olivia told him holding back tears once again.

"But hurting them, will hurt you too Detective Benson. You should know that" Lewis told her as he once again hit Amanda in the face with his gun, "But get ready here is a special preview." Lewis told her.

The whole squad room could hear Lewis going through items in a draw before they heard the clanking of a knife against a counter before they a heard a low pitch scream of pain and then the voice of evil. "Amanda's blood sure is a pretty color red." Lewis told them and then hung up the phone.

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><p><strong>Authors Note: Well there chapter 9, not totally happy with it, but just couldn't get it right. Please Review and let me know what you all think and remember if any of you have twitter you are welcomed to follow me at Brittany21693V.<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**Authors Note: Wow I cannot believe this is chapter 10 already! I could not have done it without all of you. Thank you so much for all the support and reviews you all have given to me, and I am so glad you all have loved this story so far. Once again I do not own any of these characters.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>"<em>The whole squad room could hear Lewis going through items in a draw before they heard the clanking of a knife against a counter before they a heard a low pitch scream of pain and then the voice of evil. "Amanda's blood sure is a pretty color red." Lewis told them and then hung up the phone."<em>

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><p>William Lewis grabbed a knife from the draw and dragged it across the counter, locking eyes with Amanda making sure she knew what was going to happen next. He smirked that evil smirk, and quickly pushed the knife up against Amanda's throat. He knew Olivia and the rest of the Scooby Doo gang was listening, and he saw the tears in Amanda's eyes, not knowing if she was going to die or not. He pushed the knife against her throat a bit harder, earning him an almost silent gasp. As the tears continued to fill her eyes, he cut her inches away from her jugular vein, Lewis wasn't ready to kill her yet, but he was ready to torture her to the point she wished she was dead.<p>

Once Lewis hung up the phone, he continued to watch the blood drip down Amanda's throat, while he dragged the knife down her body to her the top of her wrist and roughly dragged the knife along the white skin until the red liquid appeared once again.

Amanda tried to hide her pain and fear but the pain was just too much to bear. "Please I'll do anything" Amanda pleaded with him just to make him stop but that only edged Lewis on more and he dragged the knife back up her body and hooked it under the collar of her shirt and pulled it quickly so the material ripped then dragged the knife across the top of her chest, making a giant gash appear with blood pouring out.

But that wasn't enough for Lewis, his final act for the moment was about to begin, he pulled the knife away and quickly thrusted the knife into Amanda's abdominal area making her scream out in pain.

"I guess that is enough for now" Lewis smirked and then walked out of the room.

"Amanda, stay with me." Elliot encouraged her, as he watched her head sway back and forth trying to fight off the unconsciousness that was bound to take over her.

"Elliot I know we don't know each other…" Amanda tried to tell him but her breath was coming in short gasps. "But please tell Liv I love her" Amanda was able to gasp out before she went unconscious.

"You can tell her yourself, stay with me" Elliot pleaded but it was no use, Amanda had passed out and there was nothing he could do but pray that she woke up.

"He is hurting her, I need to find her find them." Olivia shouted at everyone in the squad room when the Tech Olivia had given the notepad to, walked in.

"Detective Benson, I have something" The tech announced.

"Please tell me you have the address." Olivia begged

The tech shook her head "No, but I have a partial. 470 West Meri… that was all I was able to get from it, I am sorry." The Tech told her.

"That could be anywhere" Olivia shouted and Finn grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Liv, it's a start. We can test it against cell towers, that Lewis is bouncing his calls off of. It is bound to show up." Finn encouraged her. "Plus we can check the property for any empty or secluded houses or warehouses, since he wouldn't be stupid enough to bring them to an open area where anyone could hear them." Finn added.

Olivia nodded her head, but the anger was still building in her body when a young man walked into the room.

"Can I help you?" Cragen asked the young man.

"I am looking for Detective Benson." The young man announced and Olivia looked up and over toward him.

"That's me, how can I help you?" Olivia asked pulling herself together.

"I have information on Lewis." The man announced and Olivia's eyes widened.

"I will take him" Olivia announced as she grabbed the man and pulled him into one of the interrogation rooms.

"Finn Watch her, and get on that property listings." Cragen ordered.

Olivia pulled the man into the room and slammed the door "Sit down" Olivia ordered not having any time for patience. "Where the hell is he?" Olivia asked once the man sat and she placed her hands down on the table in front of him.

"I don't know." The man said with a smirk.

"You just said you had information on him and you expect me to believe you don't know where he is?" Olivia asked as her eyes darkened.

The man nodded "I said I had information, but what is in it for me, if I tell you?" The man asked

Between hearing Amanda get hurt and now this man playing games with her Olivia had lost all her patience, that's if she had any to begin with. "Listen to me you son of a bitch." Olivia growled as she grabbed him by the front of his shirt.

"You tell me what is in it for me, and I will tell you anything you want to know." The man laughed.

Olivia gathered all her strength in her body and ripped the man from his chair and threw him against the wall and wrapped her hand around him neck to hold him there while she yelled in his face. "I will tell you what is in it for you, tell me where the hell he is and I won't charge you with interfering with a police investigation and obstruction. Do you want that?" Olivia asked.

"Just tell me what you can do for me?" The man asked testing the brunette detective and Olivia lost it.

"You sick bastard, if he kills either of them, I will charge you as well." Olivia shouted and threw him on the ground, making him hit his head on the steel table in the center.

Cragen walked over just in time to see this happening "Get in there!" He ordered Finn.

Finn busted into the interrogation room as Olivia went on beating up the man and grabbed her and pulled Liv out of the room, and shut the door.

"What the hell is your problem?" Cragen shouted.

"He fucking knows where Lewis is, and he is fucking playing games." Olivia shouted

"And that makes it okay to do that?" Cragen asked and then turned to Finn "And you, why didn't you stop her." He asked and Finn didn't say anything. "Olivia I want you out of here, go home." Cragen told her and Olivia looked at him. "And that's an order" He added and Olivia walked off. "Somebody get him a medic." Cragen shouted while he stormed into his office slamming the door behind him.

Olivia was just about to walk out of the squad room when another Tech came rushing in "Detective Benson, this is so unbelievable but we got something." The tech announced and Olivia stopped dead in her tracks.

"You what?" Olivia asked spinning around on her heels.

"Yes we have something, I don't know how but a hit came up while looking through property records for empty places." The tech told her.

"What is it?" Olivia asked while Finn and Amaro came walking up to listen in.

"A house in literally the middle of nowhere was found, it belong to Lewis' father who passed away a couple of years ago. It was left to Lewis but has been empty ever since." The tech told them and Olivia felt hope fill her body.

"What is the address?" Olivia asked

"You won't believe this but 470 West Meriden Ave. Hudson Valley New York." The tech announced.

"That is close it's only an hour away; I want a team there now." Olivia shouted

"You are not in charge Olivia, I am" Cragen shouted from the doorway of his office. "And I told you to go home."

"But Captain, we may have something." Olivia argued

"What do we have?" Cragen asked and the Tech explained to him the information they have found. Cragen thought for a few before he made up his mind. "Fine, Olivia you can go but I am going too. I will make the phone calls." Cragen told her and Olivia smiled.

"Thank you." Olivia told him with a smile.

"Don't make me regret this." Cragen warned and Olivia nodded she just hoped that Lewis was there, and that they got there in time.

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><p><strong>Authors Note: And there is Chapter 10, I hope you all enjoyed. Don't forget to review!<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**Authors Note: Thank you all for the reviews! Once again I do not own any of these characters.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>"<em>Don't make me regret this." Cragen warned and Olivia nodded she just hoped that Lewis was there, and that they got there in time.<em>

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><p>Olivia and Cragen were about to head out of the squad room when Amaro came walking in "Cragen, Liv wait" He told them with pure horror in his eyes.<p>

"What?" Liv asked but she did not stop walking.

"We have a problem, Brian is working with Lewis" Amaro shouted as fast as he could and Olivia stopped dead in her tracks.

"He is doing what?" Cragen asked and Amaro nodded his head

"Dispatch just told me that an hour before Amanda went missing, there was a request on her cell phone to locate her. Dispatch was able to pinpoint where the request was made from and it came up from Brian's laptop." Amaro explained but Liv not wanting to believe it thought otherwise.

"Maybe Lewis stole his laptop." Liv tried not wanting to believe what Amaro was saying.

"That's what I thought, but Brian has taken leave I am sorry Liv, but this doesn't look good." Amaro told her and Liv felt more anger build in her body as if she wasn't already at her breaking point.

"I want our lines secured, block off Brian's radio transmission." Cragen shouted as members of NYPD formed in the SVU squad room. "For now on we use line 5, no others. I want sirens on until we get about five miles out. Now let's go" Cragen ordered and then him and Liv walked out of the squad room with the rest following.

"Amaro you are with me, Finn go with Liv." Cragen ordered as he got into his car.

"You drive" Finn told Liv and she nodded and got into the driver side of her squad car.

Within seconds all the sirens on all the cars went on, and Cragen led the way to the secluded home in the woods.

As they drove in a straight line down the highway with sirens blaring and all citizens moving out of the way Finn finally broke the silence "You alright Liv?" Finn asked even though he already knew she wasn't. Liv nodded her head "You know we all got your back, and we are going to get him this time I promise." Finn told her with a slight smile.

"Thanks brother." Liv smiled at him, it wasn't often she called Finn "Brother" but she sure did think of him as one.

"Sirens off" Cragen ordered through the police scanner and within seconds all the sirens were flipped off.

The driveway to the home was an old dirt road that seemed to go on for miles. Cragen pulled up and pulled off to the side with Liv behind him. Cragen got out, and once everyone else did too. He finally spoke "Alright, we don't know what we are dealing with. We know he is armed, we don't know how many people are in there, we know nothing except that Amanda Rollins and Elliot Stabler are being kept hostage." Cragen explained as the SWAT team pulled up.

"I want no helicopters, I don't want them to know we are here, I want to sneak up on them and I want no one hurt. Liv, Finn, Amaro, and I will go first. And search the property, for the rest of you I want you to fan out and wait for my orders unless there are shots fired." Cragen told them and they all nodded their heads in agreement.

"Good now let's go." Cragen announced as they all pulled on their bulletproof vests.

Liv, Amaro, Finn, and Cragen made their way down the dirt driveway; Olivia's heart was beating out of her chest. "There is Brian's car" Finn announced

"Who's that?" Amaro asked

"Son of a bitch" Olivia mumbled "That's Barba's" Liv told them with disgust in her voice.

"Wonderful is everyone fucking working for this bastard" Finn mumbled a bit loudly.

"Focus all of you" Cragen ordered.

"What's happening?" Someone asked over the head set police scanner.

"Cassidy and Barba's car is here. We are moving in." Cragen told the other members of NYPD.

"You hear something?" Brian asked Lewis who was cutting an apple.

"Nah, probably an animal" Lewis mumbled as Amanda finally came to.

"Hey can I get a piece of that?" Amanda asked between gasps of air, and Brian turned around and punched her right in the mouth.

"Who the fuck told you that you could talk?" Brian shouted as he punched her again.

Lewis got up from his chair and grabbed Brian by the shoulder and threw him against the wall and kicked him. "What did I fucking tell you?" Lewis asked and Brian mumbled "Now stay down you piece of shit." Lewis shouted at him and grabbed the knife off the kitchen table and stabbed Amanda again making her scream in pain.

"Amanda" Liv shouted a bit loudly and Finn covered her mouth.

"Finn, Liv, you take that side, Amaro your with me" Cragen ordered while he motioned with his hands.

Barba was sitting in the living room, and he saw the motion of people outside and called for Lewis. "This better be good" Lewis told him as he walked into the living room from the kitchen and saw Barba standing near the window. "What the fuck are you doing?" Lewis asked

"Shh, I think someone is out there." Barba told him

"You call me in here, and then you tell me to be quiet. You and Brian are just pussies there is no one out there." Lewis stated and walked back into the kitchen.

"Whatever" Barba mumbled and walked into the kitchen following Lewis. "Jesus what did you do to her?" Barba asked

"Bitch had it coming to her" Lewis mumbled as he took another bite of his apple.

"I got an idea, call Barba and lure him outside and I'll have another officer grab him." Cragen commanded as another officer went running over to him.

Amaro took out his cell phone and dialed Barba's number.

"Man I got to take this its Nick." Barba announced as he walked out of the kitchen and then out the front door. Olivia and Finn where hiding behind Brian's car, with Cragen Amaro and the other officer behind Barba's as they prayed he would walk over to his car.

Barba walked over to the trunk of him car, before he answered the call. "Hello"

"Might want to reconsider your choices there Mr. Barba, make a sound I blow your brains out." The officer growled told him as he pulled him down and locked the handcuffs on him, and then started to walk him down the driveway with his hand covering his mouth.

"One down" Cragen announced "He was the easy one" he added.

Just as Cragen said that, Olivia pulled out her cell phone and dialed Brian's number. "Liv what are you doing?" Finn asked and Olivia shushed him.

But what Liv didn't know was that Lewis had thrown him a bit harder than he planned and Brian was passed out on the kitchen floor. "Damn it" Liv mumbled when she got him voicemail.

"Why is everyone calling?" Lewis thought to himself, and decided he would go outside and take a look just in case there is something going on. But if that was the case, he wasn't going alone. Lewis untied Amanda, who was once again bleeding and fighting off unconsciousness. "Let's go bitch we are going for a walk." He shouted at her and grabbed and told her to walk.

The gang saw the front door swing open and the blonde detective in front Lewis, bleeding profusely. Even though Lewis couldn't see anyone, he knew they were watching he could feel their stares. He threw Amanda to the ground, and kicked her a couple of times.

Finn had to cover Olivia's mouth to make sure she didn't make a sound as they all watched in horror. "Is this what you want Detective?" Lewis shouted

But when Lewis got no answer, he pulled his gun out from the back of his jeans and aimed it at Amanda. "How about this?" Lewis asked "And don't think I won't"

Olivia grabbed her gun out of her holster and as silently as she could she got it ready to shoot.

"Fine this is on you Detective Olivia Benson" Lewis shouted

**BANG, BANG, BANG**

Three shots rang out in the air, and Olivia quickly stood and shouted "HEY LEWIS"

Lewis turned to where Olivia's voice was coming from and looked her dead in the eye and smiled that evil smile, and Olivia aimed her gun right at his head and pulled the trigger.

"I need medics and backup now!" Cragen ordered and the flick of the sirens went on, and cars came plowing down the driveway.

"AMANDA" Olivia shouted as she ran up to her, she kicked Lewis aside and empty the rest of her clip into his body.

"That's enough Liv." Finn demanded before he, Amaro, and Cragen rushed inside.

"Amanda baby it's me" Olivia knelt down to her girlfriend's side as she took off her jacket and pressed it against Amanda's wounds.

"Liv?" Amanda asked barely above a whisper.

"Shh, don't talk baby, help is on the way. I am so sorry this happened to you." Olivia told her with tears streaming down her face.

"I love you so much Liv, and I will never forget you." Amanda said breathlessly.

"Shh, don't talk like that baby, you are going to be okay. I love you with all my heart." Olivia told her putting more pressure on her wounds.

"I tried my best to keep him away from her, but he just wanted her." A voice came from behind Olivia.

Olivia turned and looked over her shoulder "You wrote down the address Elliot, you did plenty." Olivia told him with a smile.

Elliot knelt down beside Olivia and helped her put pressure on Amanda "Something's never change" He told her back.

"Keep walking" Finn snapped as he walked out the door of the house with handcuffs on Brian and then off the porch to a car.

"Keep the pressure for a minute please." Olivia told Elliot as she stood up "Finn wait." She shouted at him and Finn stopped.

"You son of a fucking bitch." Olivia growled and then punched Brian right in the jaw. "Get him out of here, before I shoot you dead too." Olivia said as she shook her head and went back to Amanda.

Just as Olivia went back to putting pressure on Amanda, an ambulance came pulling up the driveway. The paramedics came rushing over to Amanda and quickly got an oxygen mask on her, and on the stretcher.

"Liv go with her, we got it here" Cragen ordered her as if she needed to be ordered to do that. She was going whether they liked it or not. "Elliot you too" Cragen added.

"She has five knife wounds, two stabs, and three slashes along with three gunshot wounds." The paramedic announced

"She is going to make it right?" Olivia asked with tears in her eyes.

"It's touch and go right now, she has lost a lot of blood. I would say 50/50 but I could be wrong." The paramedic told Olivia and Elliot took her hand.

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><p><strong>Authors Note: Well there is chapter 11, Hope you all enjoyed and don't forget to review! <strong>

**Also a very happy birthday to Mariska Harigtay! **


	12. Chapter 12

**Authors Note: Thank you all for the wonderful Reviews. I really love that you all are loving this story. Once again I do not own any of these characters. **

**though I would like to make one shout out to Dragonspit: As I read your review I found the part about Alex interesting, I didn't think about that being a possibility, but now it is in my mind. So as to if she does find love again, or tries to go after Liv, I guess we will just have to find out.**

**Hope you all Enjoy!**

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><p>"<em>It's touch and go right now, she has lost a lot of blood. I would say 5050 but I could be wrong." The paramedic told Olivia and Elliot took her hand._

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><p>The ride to the hospital seemed to take forever, it was like time had stood still and there was no way of making it start again. "I know you Liv, and I know what you are thinking, it is not your fault" Elliot whispered to Olivia.<p>

Olivia didn't answer but slowly nodded her head, but deep down inside she blamed herself and she always would.

Finally after what seemed like years the ambulance pulled up to the Emergency Room section of the hospital, nurses and doctors came rushing out the door to help the paramedics get Amanda's stretcher out of the ambulance and quickly rushed her inside. "I am sorry ma'am you have to stay behind." A nurse told Olivia quickly.

"No please let me go with her" Olivia pleaded and rushed after the group of nurses.

"Ma'am you have to stay behind in the waiting room." The nurse told her again, and Elliot grabbed Olivia and pulled her back and bought her to the waiting room and they took a seat. Even after years of being her partner it never seemed to amaze him on how stubborn the brunette could be.

Meanwhile back at the crime scene, CSU were tearing apart the home, "Finn, Amaro" Cragen shouted from his squad car.

"Yes Captain?" Both men asked at the same time.

"Elliot just sent me a text; they just arrived at the hospital, he and Liv are in the waiting room. They know nothing at the moment. I want both of you to go down there now. CSU can handle it from here. I will be there shortly." Cragen told them.

Amaro and Finn both nodded their heads, and Finn got into Liv's car, Liv had left her keys in the ignition when they got there.

"Are you with Amanda Rollins?" A nurse who neither of them had seen before came out and asked Liv and Elliot.

"Yes" Olivia answered quickly while she stood up. "How is she?" Olivia asked

"Does she have any family?" The nurse asked and Olivia felt her knees go weak; thankfully Elliot quickly stood up and grabbed Olivia.

"I am her family, what is going on?" Olivia asked once again.

"She is being prepped for surgery right now, she has lost a lot of blood." The nurse explained but Olivia cut her off.

"How bad is it?" Olivia asked with tears in her eyes.

"We won't know until she is under." The nurse explained. "I will let you know if anything changes, may I have your names please?" The nurse asked.

"Olivia Benson Manhattan Special Victims, and this is Elliot Stabler "Olivia told her

"Was she raped?" The nurse asked

"No, she was never out of my sight." Elliot told the nurse

"Okay, well if anything changes I will be back" The nurse told them and quickly turned on her heels and disappeared back into the doors she came out of.

Olivia and Elliot were sitting in the waiting room, when Finn and Amaro came walking in. "Liv? How is she?" Finn asked rushing over to them.

"I don't know. She is in surgery; she's lost a lot of blood." Olivia told him and Finn pulled her in for a hug.

"Cragen is on his way." Amaro told them, looking at his phone.

"Elliot have you been checked?" Finn asked him shaking his hand

"No I am fine, he didn't want me. Just for one thing to get Amanda, and nothing else. Everything was directed toward Amanda." Elliot explained.

Olivia was watching the hands move on the clock hanging on the wall, watching the time pass ever so slowly, when Cragen came rushing in. "Any news?" He asked quickly and Olivia explained to him the same thing she told Finn and Amaro.

Cragen sat down next to his detectives, even if Elliot wasn't one anymore, he would always be one to Cragen. "Captain can I talk to you?" Olivia asked after a few moments. Cragen nodded his head and followed Olivia to a secluded corner of the room.

"What's up Liv?" Cragen asked

"I'm sorry" Olivia told him softly.

"What for?" Cragen asked slightly confused.

"I know I shouldn't have shot Lewis like that, but I'm sorry he deserved it and I don't regret doing it." Olivia explained and Cragen put his hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry about that right now Liv, that bastard had it coming to him. I will deal with whatever needs to be done, you just worry about Amanda, I will handle the rest. I have your back, and you did nothing wrong in my eyes." Cragen told her and Olivia smiled a bit.

"Thank you" Olivia told him and then they both made their way back to the group and sat down, and just as they did the nurse that had greeted them three hours ago when they came in returned. "How is she?" Olivia asked standing back up again.

"She is still in surgery, but there is no easy way to say this" The nurse began and Cragen stood up quickly along with Finn and put their hands on Olivia's shoulders to support her, with Nick and Elliot standing behind her. "There is a lot of damage, between the stab wounds and the gunshot wounds. Her heart has stopped twice now, the second time took longer to revive, and doctors are worried that if it is to stop again they won't be able to revive her." The nurse explained and Olivia's eyes filled with tears and her knees went weak.

Finn pulled her close to him and held her close, words couldn't even form in Olivia's mouth let alone her brain. "Thank you, please keep her us updated" Finn told her, because there was nothing there to be said.

"Will do, I just wanted to inform you" The nurse told them and turned to head back to the surgery room.

"Wait" Olivia shouted at the nurse, and she stopped in her tracks and turned around "Can I please see her?" Olivia begged.

The nurse shook her head "I am sorry but I cannot let you do that." The nurse said in an apologetic tone.

Olivia swallowed and then asked "Then can you please tell her something for me?"

The nurse nodded and came closer to Olivia "Yes I can" The nurse told her with a smile.

Olivia smiled with tears in her eyes "I know she is under but can you please tell her, you are so strong, you are a fighter and a survivor. Don't give up now, because I have told you before and I will tell you again that is how they win. Don't let them win, Amanda. We all are here for you, and we all have your back." Olivia told her and started to choke up before she could get the last words out, but she pulled herself together and said the last words for the nurse to tell her. "I am so sorry baby, and I love you so much stay strong. We can get through this together."

The nurse nodded and pulled Olivia in for a tight hug and whispered in her ear "I will tell her you said that Detective, and I will do my best to make sure she pulls through."

Olivia pulled back from the hug and whispered "Thank you."

After the nurse left Olivia sat back down and then Cragen, Finn, Nick, and Elliot put their hands on top of hers and said at the same time "She will pull through don't worry."

Olivia went back to watching the hands move on the clock while she thought to herself on how lucky she was to have such a group of supportive co-workers, not even that friends, no actually they were more like a family. One big dysfunctional family!

Even though Olivia was watching the clock, she wasn't fully aware of how much time had really passed until Finn broke her from her thoughts.

"You want anything Liv? I am going to get a snack from the café." Finn asked and Olivia shook her head "C'mon Liv you know you need to eat, can I at least get you a coffee?" Finn asked and Olivia knew he wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Okay yeah a coffee here let me give you some money…" Olivia began but Finn cut her off.

"Don't you worry about it, I got you." Finn said with a smile and left to go to the café.

As Finn was coming back with the snacks and coffee, the nurse was walking back out into the waiting room. Finn rushed over to the group at the same moment the nurse reached them. "How is she?" Finn asked while he set down the café items and put his hand on Olivia's shoulder.

The nurse smiled and looked at Olivia and then spoke "Well Detective your words worked, Amanda is out of surgery and in recovery."

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><p><strong>Authors Note: Well there is Chapter 12, I hope you all enjoyed. Don't forget to review! <strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**Authors Note: Thank you all for the reviews. I Hope you all enjoy this chapter, and once again I do not own any of these characters.**

**Also I added a story cover image, let me know what y'all think of it, I'm not totally sure I like it.**

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><p><em>The nurse smiled and looked at Olivia and then spoke "Well Detective your words worked, Amanda is out of surgery and is now in recovery."<em>

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><p>Once Olivia heard the words come out of the nurse's mouth her heart instantly filled with love, and the biggest smile on her face appeared along with the tears forming in her eyes. "Can I see her?" Olivia asked still smiling.<p>

The nurse nodded her head "Just let me get her situated and then I will come back for you. It will just be a few moments I promise." The nurse told her with a smile of her own. This is one of the many reasons she loved her job, giving the good news to families, when it feels like there is no other option but bad.

Olivia nodded and then the gang watched the nurse walk away, Finn grabbed Olivia and gave her a giant hug. "See we all knew Amanda was a strong one." Finn told her with a smile, and Olivia could do nothing more but smile back.

It only took the nurse five minutes to return, "Now are you all coming back right now?" The nurse asked.

"Yes…" Olivia began but Cragen cut her off.

"No Liv, you just go right now. Tell Amanda we are all here for her and we will see her shortly, but right now you just go and spend time with her." Cragen told her and he could see that Olivia was about to reject but Cragen spoke again. "That's an order."

Olivia smiled and nodded her head and then looked back at the nurse. "Then I guess it is just me." Olivia told her and the nurse smiled.

"Okay let me just warn you, she is still groggy but she is almost fully awake." The nurse told her, Olivia nodded and then followed the nurse to Amanda's room. "Here we are, I will be over at the nurses station if you should need anything." The nurse told her and then shut the door, to give Olivia and Amanda the privacy they needed.

Olivia took a deep breath when she saw Amanda lying on that hospital bed, she knew it was all her fault, Lewis went after her, and even if people told her otherwise Olivia would never forgive herself.

"Hey" Olivia whispered as she walked over to the side of Amanda's bed, and sat on the edge of it taking her hand in hers.

"Liv?" Amanda asked in barely above a whisper.

"Hey baby, it's me. You are okay now, you are safe." Olivia told her softly and she saw Amanda start to open her eyes.

"You have…have to get Brian and Bar…" Amanda started to tell her softly but Olivia stopped her by placing her fingers to her lips.

"Shh don't worry we got them. Lewis is dead." Olivia told her softly and Amanda smiled.

"Did you kill him?" Amanda asked with a smile and Olivia nodded "Good" Amanda said with a smile.

"Everybody is out in the waiting room, but don't worry we will get through this together." Olivia told her softly while she pulled Amanda's hand slowly up to her lips and placed a kiss on it. "I am so sorry, this is my fault. This should have never have happened to you. I love you so much Amanda Rollins." Olivia told her.

"It's not your fault Liv, don't think that for a second. I love you too, Olivia Benson." Amanda told her softly as her eyes started to close and a nurse came walking in.

"I am sorry to interrupt but we really need to let Ms. Rollins sleep." The nurse told them as sweetly as she could.

Olivia nodded before she asked "Can I stay here with her?"

The nurse shook her head "I am sorry but we can't let you do that, don't worry she is in good hands." The nurse told her and Olivia nodded sadly.

"Can I have a minute then?" Olivia asked and the nurse nodded and walked out of the room. Once the nurse was gone, Olivia leaned over and placed a kiss to Amanda's forehead "I love you, and I will see you in the morning." Olivia whispered thinking Amanda was already asleep, that was until she heard a voice as she turned to walk out of the room.

"Is that how you kiss the one you love goodbye Detective?" Amanda asked and when Olivia turned around she saw she was smiling.

"No it's not." Olivia smiled at her and walked back over to her and leaned in to give her a soft kiss goodbye.

"Stop blaming yourself Liv, this isn't your fault." Amanda whispered against their lips before she gave her one last kiss goodbye.

As Olivia made her way back to the waiting room she spotted both the nurses she had dealt with so far and she stopped in front of the nurse's station. "Thank you" Olivia told them both with a smile and they both nodded.

Finn was the first one to spot Olivia come through the double doors and quickly stood up. "How is she?" he asked as the rest of the gang stood up.

"She's good, she fell back to sleep, but she will pull through." Olivia told them.

"She is a fighter, just like you and we all have your back." Cragen told her and Olivia nodded.

"Thank you, all of you. But I think I am just going to head out now." Olivia told them and they all understood and Finn gave her back her car keys as they told her if she needed anything to not hesitate to call.

Elliot took it upon himself and walked Olivia to her car and before he said goodbye he just had to ask. "How long have you been with Amanda?"

"It's been over a year." Olivia told him, and she just hoped her former partner didn't care.

Elliot didn't say anything for a few moments but then he asked another question. "Are you happy, does she make you happy?"

Olivia smiled "Yes she does. Very happy."

Elliot nodded his head "Good, then I am happy for you. you deserve happiness Liv. But if she does anything to you, or hurts you in any way then she has to deal with me." Elliot told her.

Olivia chuckled "Yeah you and everybody else." Elliot laughed too at this "But thank you, for everything." Olivia told him.

"Hey we may not work together anymore, but I always have your back." Elliot told her

"Same here partner." Olivia said as she got into her car.

"Have a good night Liv, call if you need anything." Elliot told her once she rolled down the window.

"Thanks El and you too." Olivia told him and then drove off.

Olivia drove to the hotel that the department had put her and Amanda up at. Once she got inside she was greeted by Frannie. "Hey girl, I am so sorry no one has spent much time with you." Olivia told the dog as she knelt to the ground and showered her with kisses and hugs. "You got to go out?" Olivia asked and Frannie barked "Of course you do" Olivia chuckled and hook the leash on her.

Olivia took Frannie out and walked her around a bit outside to get some exercise, but she could tell she wanted to go for a run. "I'm sorry girl, its been a long day. Maybe tomorrow" She told her and then walked her back inside.

Once they were back inside the hotel room, Olivia gave her fresh water and food. "Alright you be a good girl, I am going to go and take a shower." She told Frannie as she checked to make sure the door was completely locked before she made her way into the bedroom to grab what she needed and then walked into the bathroom and shut the door but left it ajar.

Olivia stood under the hot spray of the water, as the tears made her way down her face. The images of Amanda being shot, and hearing her scream out in pain were running over and over in her head. "I am so sorry, it's all my fault" Olivia mumbled over and over to herself until she heard a knock softly at the door, and then Frannie started to bark.

"Jesus who could that be?" Olivia mumbled to herself as she turned off the water, and stepped out of the shower pulling on a robe. "I swear those boys just won't take no for an answer" Olivia mumbled again as she walked out into the bedroom of the hotel room and grabbed her gun and then made her way into the living room and saw Frannie barking at the door. "It's okay girl" She told the dog and she instantly stopped.

Olivia walked up to the door and peaked through the peek hole and was taken by surprised. She unlocked and opened the door. "Alex what are you doing here?" She asked not even remembering that she answered the door in her robe with wet hair.

The blonde woman smiled at Liv as she held up two bottles of wine "I figured you could use some company, can I come in?"

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><p><strong>Authors Note: Well there is chapter 13, still cannot believe its 13 already! I hope you all enjoyed and don't forget to review!<strong>

**Also what is Alex up to?**


	14. Chapter 14

**Authors Note: Thank you all for the reviews, once again I do not own any of these characters.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><em>The blonde woman smiled at Liv "I figured you could use some company, can I come in?"<em>

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><p>Olivia moved away from the entrance of the door way "Be my guest" She told Alex as she moved her hand in a welcoming gesture. Alex smiled at her and walked inside, but once she did Frannie started growling at her. Olivia was shocked she had never ever heard Frannie growl. "Hey Frannie that isn't nice, you don't growl at someone you don't know." Olivia scolded the dog "But if you learn she is a bitch then, by all means growl away." Olivia added with a smirk as she shut the door and Frannie stopped.<p>

"Oh so now I'm a bitch Detective?" Alex asked with a smirk.

Olivia chuckled "You have your moments."

"How is Amanda?" Alex asked as she moved into the kitchen area and put both bottles of wine of the counter before she dug the wine opener out of her purse.

"She is out of surgery." Olivia told her as she walked into the kitchen area as well. "As you can see there isn't much place to sit." Olivia explained and Alex chuckled.

"Liv, you have a couch right there." Alex said as she pointed over to the couch.

"Yeah guess I do." Olivia laughed

"Guess no glasses?" Alex asked and Olivia shook her head no. "Then I guess it's a good thing I bought two bottles then." Alex told her as she gave her the bottle of wine.

Olivia took the bottle and walked over to the couch and sat down. "So what are you really doing here?" Olivia asked

"What does that mean Liv?" Alex asked "I told you I figured you could use company." Alex told her as she sat down on the other side of the couch.

"Why now?" Olivia asked as she took a swig of the wine.

"Why now what?" Alex asked confused

"Why come back now?" Olivia asked her

"Liv, I saw what that asshole of a man who called himself a D.A. I swear he got his degree from a box of Cracker Jacks did to you on that stand. There was no way I was letting him do that to you again, and there was not a chance in hell I was letting William Lewis go free again." Alex explained.

"Well thank you for that, but Lewis is dead now." Olivia said flatly as she took a swig.

"Yeah I got a phone call about that. I will try my best to stop it, but internal affairs want to investigate the shooting." Alex told her and Olivia cut her off.

"He shot Amanda three times, he deserved to die." Olivia shouted and Alex put her hand on top of Liv's.

"Hey, I know that. I will try my best to prevent it. Don't worry about it. You weren't the only one there and saw what happened. You know the whole squad has your back." Alex told her softly and Olivia nodded. "I'm serious." Alex added and Olivia nodded again.

"Yeah I know they do." Olivia said softly and chugged down some more wine.

Olivia and Alex sat in silence for a few until Alex broke the silence "So Amanda makes you happy?" Alex asked and Olivia nodded and then started to laugh. "Okay I think you had way too much wine." Alex said with a laugh as put her bottle on the ground and leaned over to take Olivia's.

"No, no it's not that." Olivia said between laughter.

"Okay yeah way too much. You are officially cut off." Alex told her again but it just made Olivia laugh even harder.

"No Al, it's not the wine." Olivia tried but laughed harder.

"Okay did you take something from the hospital?" Alex asked now starting to laugh as well, because who couldn't listen to Olivia Benson Laugh and not laugh as well. Her laugh is contagious after all!

Finally Olivia was able to pull herself together and say what she has been trying to say. "It isn't the wine, it just seems that everyone who has found out we are together has asked if she makes me happy."

Alex looked at Olivia with a confused look on her face "Okay why are you looking at me like that?" Olivia asked

"Because I just don't see how that is funny Liv, does she not make you happy?" Alex asked.

Olivia shook her head "Okay maybe I have had a little too much wine." Olivia told her but then finished off her bottle. "But yes she does make me happy." Olivia told her before she asked "Do you have any more wine?"

Alex laughed "I think you had enough." Alex told her and Olivia stood up "Where are you going, because you are in no shape to drive." Alex said standing up and followed her.

"Calm down, I forgot that there is a mini bar in here." Olivia told her opening the fridge and holding up two little bottles of vodka "Want one?" Olivia asked and Alex shook her head.

Olivia took both little bottles back to where she was sitting on the couch and sat down "Seriously Liv, I think you had enough." Alex tried to reason with her, but Olivia Benson is stubborn.

"I am fine; I know when enough is enough Alex." Olivia told her opening the bottle and took a swig.

"Fine, but that's it, no more." Alex told her.

Olivia held up her bottle and said "Cheers" then took another swig.

Once again Alex and Olivia sat there in silence once again, but again it didn't take long for that silence to end "Liv, can I ask you something?" Alex asked and Olivia nodded "Can you please put the bottle down first?" Alex asked and Olivia put the bottle on the glass table in front of the couch.

"Okay what is your question?" Olivia asked

Alex took in a deep breath and moved closer to Olivia and took her hand. "Do you miss me?" Alex asked looking Olivia deep in the eyes.

Olivia stayed quiet she had no idea how to answer this question, yes she missed Alex at times, but she loved Amanda. "I did miss you." Olivia whispered.

"You did miss me?" Alex asked thinking she didn't hear her correctly.

"Yes Alex I did, you were gone I had no idea where you were. I loved you, and it was like none of that mattered, you didn't care. You said goodbye and that was it." Olivia told her. "Then you came back, and I thought you were back to stay, but you had a life where ever the hell you were. And just like that you were gone again. Then when you finally did come back, we fought all the time." Olivia shouted at her. "So yes I did miss you." Olivia told her but was cut off by Alex's lips on hers.

Olivia was taken a back from Alex's kiss and then Alex pulled back. "I missed you every single day, I hated that I had to leave like that. I had no choice Liv, I am so sorry. But don't think that I didn't miss you because I did, and I loved you. I still do." Alex whispered softly and then leaned in to kiss her again.

Olivia didn't know if it was all the alcohol she had, or if it was the fact that Alex's lips were on hers for the first time in forever but she didn't stop her.

Olivia placed her hand on the back of Alex's neck and pulled her closer and completely on top of her. As the kiss got deeper, Alex moved her hand to the tie on Olivia's robe and began to untie it and started to kiss down Olivia's neck. "I missed you, I missed this." Alex whispered and just then did it all hit Olivia.

"Wait Alex stop." Olivia said sternly and pushed Alex by the shoulders.

"What, what's wrong?" Alex asked as she leaned in to kiss Olivia again but Olivia stopped her.

"No I said stop." Olivia told her as she pushed Alex back, and got up from the couch and pulled the tie around her tightly. "And what is wrong is that I am with Amanda, and I cannot do this." Olivia told her as she ran her fingers through her hair that was still damp.

"Liv…" Alex tried as she stood up as well but Olivia stopped her.

"No, I am with Amanda and I love Amanda too much to do this to her. We had our thing, it didn't work out Alex. I am not willing to jeopardize what I have with Amanda. She makes me happy and I love her. I am sorry, but I think you need to leave." Olivia told her as she walked over to the door and held it open for her.

Alex nodded her head and grabbed her purse. "I'm sorry Liv." Alex told her as she walked out the door.

Once Alex was gone, Olivia shut the door and locked it. She walked over to the mini fridge and pulled out another bottle of vodka chugged it down not even caring about the burning sensation in her throat from all that vodka at once. "What the fuck did I do?" Olivia shouted out to nobody as she threw the empty bottle across the room hitting the wall and watched it shatter into pieces.

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><p><strong>Authors Note: Don't hate me, I promise everything will work out in the end. Anyhow I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, please review and let me know what y'all thought!<strong>


	15. Chapter 15

**Authors Note: Thank you all for the reviews. Once again I do not own any of these characters. **

**Quick shout outs though: **

** Iwannahamberger2: Don't worry the idea of something happening to Frannie never crossed my mind, I like animals too much to even let them get hurt in a fictional story! So don't worry she is safe! **

**Also to the guest who reviewed I do agree with you about Liv not being a supportive Girlfriend, but this is just how to cookie crumbled, hopefully this chapter makes up for last. **

**Thank you again for all of you who review, I love to hear your comments on what you like and don't like, and I am so glad you all are enjoying the story this far. **

**Now without any further ado, here is Chapter 15!**

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><p>"<em>Once Alex was gone, Olivia shut the door and locked it. She walked over to the mini fridge and pulled out another bottle of vodka chugged it down not even caring about the burning sensation in her throat from all that vodka at once. "What the fuck did I do?" Olivia shouted out to nobody as she threw the empty bottle across the room hitting the wall and watched it shatter into pieces."<em>

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><p>The phone was ringing on the bed near Olivia's head, she groaned and as she moved her hand around until she found the ringing device. "Benson" Olivia answered groggily.<p>

"Detective Benson?" A woman asked

"Yea that's me." Olivia said back.

"Hi this is Dr. Parker I am sorry to inform you but Amanda Rollins heart stopped and there was nothing we could to revive her." Dr. Parker explained

"What?" Olivia asked not fully awake

"Yes, Amanda Rollins passed away while you were too busy kissing Alex Cabot and getting drunk." Dr. Parker told her.

Cragen, Finn, and Amaro were all in Amanda's room keeping her company, when Amanda looked at the clock on the wall and asked. "Where the hell is Liv? It's almost noon."

Cragen shook his head "I have no idea, I haven't heard from her." Cragen told her and Amaro pulled out his cell phone.

"I will call and find out" Amaro told her and walked out of the room and into the hallway.

Olivia jumped awake from the dream, she didn't remember getting into bed, all she remember was cleaning up the glass before Frannie stepped on it or worse ate it. Her head was pounding and the sun light blaring into the room was not helping her situation, nor was the ringing coming from her cell phone.

Olivia looked around for her phone and quickly answered. "Dr. Parker?"

"Dr. Parker, who the hell is that?" Nick asked confused.

"Oh my god Nick, is Amanda okay?" Liv asked quickly afraid to know the answer.

"Yeah she is, and she is asking where the hell you are" Nick told her hastily.

"Oh thank God" Olivia said releasing a sigh of relief.

"Where the hell are you Liv, it's almost noon?" Nick snapped at her.

"Shit, I'll be right there." Olivia told him quickly and then hung up the phone.

Nick walked back into the room and Amanda snapped at him "Where the hell is Liv?" Amanda asked and Finn put her hand on her shoulder.

"Hey take it easy, what did the doctor say?" Finn told her

"Yeah well Liv should be here by now" Amanda snapped

"She's on her way, she sounded just like she just woke up." Nick informed her.

Olivia got herself ready as quick as she could, took Frannie outside and fed her and then hurried to the hospital. Once she had arrived Olivia rushed to Amanda's room. "Where the hell have you been?" Amanda snapped at her girlfriend once she saw Olivia come running in the door.

"I'm sorry I overslept, had a horrible dream. None of that matters though, how are you?" Olivia asked as she made her way over to the side of Amanda's bed and leaned in to kiss her.

Amanda kissed her girlfriend hello, and then once she pulled away she asked "Liv why are you still wearing shades inside?"

Finn watched Olivia and he knew her well enough to know that Olivia never wore shades often.

"I forgot they were on" Olivia explained and took them off, but shook her head so her eyes were somewhat covered.

Finn could tell Olivia was hiding something "Come with me" Finn snapped as he grabbed Olivia by the arm and dragged her out into the hallway.

"What the hell" Olivia mumbled and Finn pushed up against the wall.

"Yeah what the hell is correct. What the hell is your problem Liv?" Finn asked her near inches away from her face.

"What are you talking about?" Olivia asked and Finn shook his head.

"Amanda your girlfriend is in the hospital and you show up now, you should have been here first thing this morning when visiting hours were open since they wouldn't let you stay." Finn snapped but before Olivia could say anything he spoke again. "But yet where were you? In your hotel room sleeping, and let's not forget that your eyes are completely blood-shot. So Olivia tell me how much have your drank?" Finn asked.

"Finn.." Olivia tried but Finn cut her off.

"No I don't even want to hear it. I know you've been through a lot we all have. But Amanda needs you; the both of you need each other. But yet instead of being here you are in a hotel room feeling sorry for yourself and drinking yourself to a drunken stupor." Finn snapped at her.

Olivia took in a deep breath, she knew he was right. "Alex kissed me" Olivia shouted a bit too loudly.

"Was that Liv, what did she just say?" Amanda asked Cragen and Nick but they both acted like they didn't hear anything, when they both heard loud and clear what Olivia Benson had just said.

"Alex as in Alex Cabot?" Finn asked in surprise and Olivia nodded her head. "Why the hell did she do that? Doesn't she know you are with Amanda?" Finn asked

"Yes, but we use to date." Olivia told him and Finn just shook his head and would leave that matter for another time. "She stopped by the hotel room last night with wine, she asked if I missed her and then she kissed me." Olivia explained and she could feel the tears in her eyes start to form.

Finn was about to speak but another female voice interrupted them "Did you sleep with her?" Amanda shouted from inside the hospital room.

"Get in there now" Finn snapped at Olivia and she did what he told her.

"Amanda let me explain…" Liv tried to tell her but Amanda cut her off.

"Did you sleep with her?" Amanda snapped at her through clenched teeth.

"Amanda…" Olivia tried again

"Yes or no?" Amanda asked getting more angry.

"No" Olivia stated

Cragen grabbed Nick by the arm and walked out of the room, leaving the two women to have their privacy.

Once they were gone and the door was shut, Amanda asked "Why then was she there Olivia?"

Olivia walked over to Amanda and sat down on the edge of the bed and took her hand. "Please just hear me out" Olivia pleaded and Amanda nodded her head. "I went back to the hotel, took Frannie out, fed her, and then went to take a shower. When I was in the shower there was knock at the door, I grabbed my gun and when I got to the door and looked through the peek hole, Alex was standing on the other side with two bottles of wine. When I opened the door, she said "I figured you could use some company, can I come in?" I know I shouldn't have but I let her in." Olivia told her and then took a deep breath in and continued on. "She asked how you were, I told her. We talked about why she was here, and she said Barba got his degree from a box of Cracker Jacks." Olivia told her and Amanda laughed.

"She might be right" Amanda said with a laugh.

Olivia let out a chuckle before she went on explain to Amanda. "Anyhow, she said Internal Affairs are looking into investigating me on shooting Lewis.." Olivia started but Amanda cut her off.

"That's bullshit, you did nothing wrong." Amanda snapped.

Olivia gripped Amanda's hand more tightly "Shh honey I know that. We all do, don't worry about it. But anyhow, she asked if I was happy with you, and I said I was. By this point I finished my bottle of wine, and now was cracking into the little bottles of vodka in the mini fridge." Olivia told her and she looked down at their conjoined hands and took a breath in. "Alex asked me if she could ask me something and I said yeah, and she asked if I missed her. I told her I did miss her, and that she was gone and I had no idea where she was. I loved her, and it was like none of that mattered, and that she didn't care. She said goodbye and that was it. But then she came back and I thought she was going to stay, but she had a life back where she was, and then she left again. Then when she finally did come back, all we did was fight." Olivia told her and Amanda nodded her head encouraging Liv to go on.

"Then after that she kissed me. And then she pulled back and told me she missed me too every single day, and that she hated that she had to leave like that but she had no choice. She told me she was sorry but she always loved me, and still does." Olivia told her and tears began to fill her eyes. "Then she kissed me again, and I don't know if it was all the liquor and that isn't an excuse but I didn't stop her. But when she started to untie my robe, and told me that she missed me and missed this, then it finally hit me and I stopped her. She asked what was wrong and tried to kiss me again and I told her to stop again and I pushed her back, I told her I was with you and I love you too much to do that to you. I told her we had our thing and it didn't work out, and that I wasn't willing to jeopardize what I have with you. I told her that you make me happy and that I love you. And then I told her that she needed to leave." Olivia told Amanda with teary eyes.

Both women stayed silent for minutes until Olivia spoke up "I am so sorry Amanda, I didn't mean to I swear, I love you so much, but if you want me to leave I understand."

Amanda shook her head "Just answer me one thing please?" Amanda asked and Olivia nodded her head "Do you love her?" Amanda asked

"I did, I am with you now Amanda, I never loved Alex the way I love you." Olivia told her. "Just one look from you and my heart skips a beat. The way you smile at me, the way you look at me with so much love. I never thought I could ever have that feeling in my life until I met you. Amanda you make me complete, and I know I am not the easiest person to be with, but somehow you can manage and deal with me. I never want to lose you Amanda, I love you with all my heart. But I fucked up and if you want me to go I will…" Olivia told her but Amanda cut her off by pulling her close.

"Don't ever fucking kiss her or anyone else ever again, do you understand me Olivia Benson?" Amanda asked and Olivia nodded her head. "Good because you are all mine." Amanda growled looking Olivia deep in the eyes.

"I don't want to be anyone else's." Olivia told her with a smile and tears.

"I love you too Olivia Benson." Amanda told her before she grabbed the collar of her shirt and pulled her in for a kiss, but Amanda quickly pulled back "But we need to work on your drinking" Amanda whispered against her lips and then pulled her back in for deep kiss.

Finn, Nick, and Cragen were standing in the hallway when the room they were standing outside of went quiet. "Oh jeez, I hope they aren't killing each other" Finn said with a chuckle and with that opened the door and saw Amanda and Olivia in a deep passionate kiss. "Well they aren't killing each other but they just might kill me" Finn stated with a laugh and both women broke apart.

'You know there is a thing called knocking" Amanda smirked at her partner.

"I just wanted to make sure you both weren't killing each other." Finn told her right back while Cragen and Nick came walking into the room.

"You girls good?" Cragen asked and both nodded with a smile.

Meanwhile down at Internal Affairs Alex Cabot was meeting with Ed Tucker. "What a surprise to see you Ms. Cabot." Tucker greeted her when he opened his office door.

"Wish I could say the same to you" Alex said with a smile.

"What can I do for you?" Tucker asked as he shut the door and Alex took a seat.

"I have some information for you regarding the investigation you are going to be pursuing on Detective Olivia Benson." Alex told him and Tucker sat down at his desk and folded his hands.

"Okay I am listening, what type of information?" Tucker asked

"Olivia Benson has a drinking problem, and I believe that her drinking impaired her judgment when she shot William Lewis dead." Alex told him with a smirk.

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><p><strong>Authors Note: Well there is Chapter 15, again don't worry everything will work out in the end I PROMISE! <strong>

**Please review and let me know what you all thought!**

**And believe it or not I really do like Alex, I just thought I would make her a bit different from all the rest of the fics out there, and her character on SVU. **


	16. Chapter 16

**Authors Note: Thank you all for the reviews, and to the new followers to this story, I welcome you. **

**I hope you all enjoy this chapter, and Once again I do not own any of these characters!**

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><p>"<em>Olivia Benson has a drinking problem, and I believe that her drinking impaired her judgment when she shot William Lewis dead." Alex told him with a smirk.<em>

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><p>Everyone was still in Amanda's room when her doctor came in the room, whose name happened to not be Dr. Parker like it was in Olivia's nightmare. "Ms. Rollins?" The doctor asked and Amanda turned her head toward to the door way.<p>

"Yes" Amanda answered and the doctor made her way into the room.

"I have some great news to share with you; can I have a moment alone?" The doctor asked and Amanda shook her head.

"Anything you have to tell me, you can say in front of them." Amanda informed her and the doctor nodded her head.

"Well the good news is that despite all the wounds you suffered, surprisingly none of them hit any major organs, or anything that would be considered life threatening" The doctor told her and Amanda nodded her head. "Only bad thing is, I want you to rest for at least two weeks. This means no heavy lifting, no work, nothing I want you to completely relax." The doctor informed her.

"Can I at least do desk duty?" Amanda asked

"No" Both the doctor and Cragen said at the same time.

"Your father is right…."The doctor began to say but Amanda chuckled lightly.

"He's not my dad, but he is like one. This is my captain Donald Cragen." Amanda informed the doctor.

"Oh I am terribly sorry, is everyone from work?" The doctor asked.

"Yes, this is my partner you can just call him Finn, this is Detective Nick Amaro, and my girlfriend Detective Olivia Benson." Amanda introduced them.

"Nice to meet you all, Detective Benson I have a question for you." The doctor said as she shook Olivia's hand.

"Olivia is just fine, and yes." Olivia told her

"Do you think you can keep Amanda off her feet for at least two weeks?" The doctor asked with a smile.

"I will try." Olivia told her with a smirk.

"Good then if you promise to do all this Amanda, I just might be able to release you today." The doctor told her.

"I promise, I just want to go home with my girlfriend." Amanda told her with a smile.

"Good, I will see what I can do. I will be back shortly." The doctor told her and turned to leave the room.

"Well thank you so much for your information Ms. Cabot. This meeting will stay between us." Tucker told the blonde woman as she stood up for her seat.

"Thank you." Alex told him as she gathered her things and left the office. She hated herself for stooping that low, she would never want to jeopardize Olivia's career, but she had turned her down, and no one turns down Alex Cabot.

"Amanda honey, you know home right now is a hotel suite right?" Olivia asked with a smile once the doctor left.

Amanda nodded her head "Yes Liv, I do. But home for me is anywhere as long as I am with you." Amanda told her sweetly.

Olivia smiled at her girlfriend "You are too sweet Amanda Rollins." Olivia told her with a smile, and Amanda winked at her.

"And that is why you love me right?" Amanda asked with a laugh.

"I am sure that is one of many" Finn smirked and Amanda threw a pen at him. "Hey the doctor told you to take it easy." Finn laughed.

"It was only a pen big boy calm down." Amanda told him and just then Cragen's cell phone went off, as Cragen answered his phone he went into the hallway.

Once the phone call was done, Cragen walked back in the room with a worried look on his face. "Everything okay Cap?" Finn asked

Cragen shook his head. "Liv, Tucker is opening a case against you." Cragen told them all.

"For what? Liv did nothing wrong" Finn shouted.

"He thinks her judgment was impaired. We are all wanted down there as soon as possible. As for you Amanda, he will come to you." Cragen informed them.

"That is bull, we were all there." Nick shouted.

"I know, we will sort this out. Liv, Amanda don't worry. As for the rest of you, come on your coming with me." Cragen told them.

Once Cragen, Finn, and Amaro got to the station, Tucker was already there waiting for them. "Amaro you are up first" Tucker shouted.

Amaro followed Tucker into an empty interrogation room. "And yes before you ask, I will be holding all the interrogations." Tucker informed him as Amaro sat down and turned on the recorder.

"State your name, and how long you have been partners with Olivia Benson." Tucker commanded.

"Nicholas Amaro and since 2011." Amaro told him.

"In all this time, has Olivia Benson every showed up to work drunk, that you know of?" Tucker asked

"No" Amaro answered.

"Do you have any complaints about your partner?" Tucker asked

"No sir I don't, Detective Olivia Benson is dedicated to her job. She would never do anything to compromise an investigation. She is one of the best detectives around, and I would not ask for a better partner, because I would not be able to find one. She is the best." Nick told him dead in the eye.

"Thank you Detective Amaro, you are dismissed." Tucker told him as he shut off the recorder.

After Amaro let the room, Tucker went and got Finn.

"State your name, and how long you have known Olivia Benson." Tucker told him.

"Odafin Tutuola and for 14 years" Finn answered.

"In all those years that you have known Detective Benson, has she ever turned to Alcohol?" Tucker asked

"She has had her share of issues, but she worked through them." Finn answered.

"Yes or no Detective." Tucker asked

"I don't know, she worked through them. That is all I know. You want to go clean this station up, then how about you go after that good for nothing Brian Cassidy. He is the one who deserves these questions, not Olivia Benson. She has been nothing but dedicated to this city and you want to make her out to be a bad guy? Take a look around Tucker; she isn't the one you want." Finn shouted at him and stormed out of the room.

"Finn?" Cragen asked

"He is an asshole" Finn shouted as he walked out of the squad room.

"Captain that leaves you." Tucker announced from the doorway of the interrogation room.

Cragen walked into the room and sat down. "Make this quick Tucker" He told him before Tucker hit the recorder.

"State you name, and how long you have known Olivia Benson.

"Captain Donald Cragen, and for 15 years" Cragen told him.

"Does Detective Benson have a drinking problem?" Tucker asked

"No" Cragen told him sternly.

"On the day of the William Lewis being shot dead, did Detective Benson show any signs of being impaired?" Tucker asked

"Detective Olivia Benson did her job, an officer one of my own Detectives was shot three times in front of us. Olivia Benson did what any officer is trained to do." Cragen told him loudly.

"But was she under the influence?" Tucker asked again.

"No, she was 100% Sober." Cragen shouted. "If you want to investigate someone, go investigate Brain Cassidy." Cragen told him as he too stormed out of the interrogation room.

Amanda and Olivia were sitting on Amanda's hospital bed talking when her doctor came walking in. "Good news Amanda, you can go home." The doctor announced with a smile.

"Thank you." Amanda told her with a smile.

"Olivia you keep an eye on her and Amanda if anything is wrong or doesn't feel right, I want you back here immediately." The doctor told her as she signed the papers for Amanda to be discharged.

Once the doctor gave her the papers and left, Olivia helped Amanda get dressed, she had bought a pair of Amanda's clothes with her just in case. Once she was all set the nurse came in with a wheel chair and wheeled her down and out to Olivia's car. "You both take care Detectives." The nurse told them with a smile and then said goodbye to both the women.

Olivia walked over to the driver's side of the car and got in "You ready to go to our suite Ms. Rollins?" Olivia asked with a smile as she started her car and Amanda nodded her head. "Good, because I believe there is someone there who misses you very much." Olivia told her and drove off.

As Olivia and Amanda drove to their hotel, her cell phone rang. "Benson" Olivia answer.

"Detective Benson, this is Tucker, I want you to come down now for questioning." Tucker ordered.

"I'm sorry but I am taking Amanda home right now." Olivia told him and Amanda looked over at her.

"Too bad, bring her too. I want you both here now, or I am getting a warrant for your arrest for the both of you." Tucker ordered and hung up the phone.

"God what a fucking prick." Olivia shouted as she threw her phone into the backseat.

"Babe what did he say?" Amanda asked as she took Olivia's hand in her own.

"He wants us both down there now, or he is arresting us." Olivia told her.

"Come on Liv, I will be okay." Amanda told her sweetly.

"You heard the doctor; I don't want anything to happen to you Amanda." Olivia told her as she drove.

"Liv a couple of questions won't hurt me, now come on." Amanda told her and Olivia changed directions and drove to the station.

Once they arrived at the station, Olivia helped Amanda out of the car and up to the squad room. "Rollins, now!" Tucker shouted and Olivia helped her into the interrogation room, while she shot Tucker a nasty look.

"That is on the record Benson" Tucker shouted after her.

"Bite me" Olivia mumbled and Nick laughed.

"How are you feeling Amanda?" Tucker asked as he shut the door.

"Like I have been stabbed and shot" Amanda snapped at him.

"Well I wish a speedy recovery." Tucker told her as he pressed the recorder on "State you name and how long you have known Detective Benson." Tucker told her.

"Amanda Rollins, and for three years." Amanda told him.

"Is it true, that you have a relationship with Detective Benson?" Tucker asked and Amanda's mouth opened in shock.

"Yes I do." Amanda told him

"And what might that be?" Tucker asked

"We are dating, and have been for over a year." Amanda told him. "And before you ask me if Olivia was under any type of influence during or any time before she shot William Lewis, I will tell you right now she wasn't. She did what any officer would do during that situation. Olivia has put her life on the line far too many times, and has protected the people of New York City for over 15 years, and this is how you treat her. Olivia Benson is one of the best Detectives make that people you will ever meet. And to sit there and accuse of her of being anything different is just pathetic and you should be ashamed of yourself." Amanda shouted at him. "Do something good for once and go out and get those two dirt bags who had the nerve to even work for the state of New York" Amanda added as she got herself up from the chair on her own and walked out.

"Amanda honey you can't do that." Olivia said as she rushed over to her side and helped her to her desk.

"Yeah well it was that or I punched Tucker, either way it wouldn't be good" Amanda told her.

"Benson now!" Tucker shouted and Olivia kissed Amanda on the forehead and then made her way into the interrogation room.

"State your name, and how long you have been an SVU Detective" Tucker told her once she sat down and he turned on the recorder.

"Olivia Benson, and for 15 years." Olivia told him

"Have you ever come to work under the influence Detective?" Tucker asked

"No" Olivia told him

"Tell me what happened before you shot William Lewis dead" Tucker ordered.

"He walked Detective Rollins out of the porch and knocked her to the ground where he then kicked her. Lewis then asked if this is what I wanted and when he got no answer he aimed his gun at Detective Rollins and said don't think I won't. Then he pulled the trigger and shot her three times." Olivia told him.

"What happened after that?" Tucker asked

"I shouted for him and then aimed my gun and shot him in the head.

"Then what?" Tucker asked

"I rushed over to Amanda and put pressure on her wounds." Olivia told him

"Did you shoot Lewis again?" Tucker asked

"Yes I emptied my clip into him." Olivia answered.

"Were you under the influence during this Detective?" Tucker asked.

"No" Olivia told him while she squinted at him.

"Why did you empty a clip into him when you already shot him in the head?" Tucker asked

"I wanted to make sure he was dead" Olivia stated

"No you wanted revenge right, for what he did to you." Tucker told her.

"No I didn't want revenge for what he did to me; I wanted to make sure he could never hurt Detective Rollins or anyone else ever again." Olivia shouted at him

"So tell me Detective do you have a drinking problem?" Tucker asked again.

"No" Olivia told him shaking her head.

"But is it correct your mother was an alcoholic?" Tucker asked and he could see the anger form in Olivia's eyes.

"My mother has nothing to do with this." Olivia shouted at him standing up from her chair.

"And your father was a rapist right, is that why you got into Sex Crimes Detective?" Tucker pushed.

"FUCK YOU!" Olivia shouted at him. "My mother or that man who fathered me has nothing to do with this, we are done here." Olivia told him storming out of the room.

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><p><strong>Authors Note: There is Chapter 16, I hope you all enjoyed. <strong>

**Please review and let me know!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Authors Note: Thank you for the reviews, I do not own any of these characters. **

**Enjoy!**

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><p>"<em>FUCK YOU!" Olivia shouted at him. "My mother or that man who fathered me has nothing to do with this, we are done here." Olivia told him storming out of the room.<em>

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><p>Nick and Amanda watched as Olivia came storming out of the interrogation room, and quite frankly they couldn't blame her. "Benson we are not done!" Tucker shouted after her as he followed her.<p>

"Oh we aren't?" Olivia asked as she turned on her heels and got inches away from his face. "Your right we aren't, you want to know why I joined Special Victims, because guess what it isn't because of that asshole who fathered me." Olivia snapped at him. "I joined to protect people from those bastards like my father, and like the monsters in this world like William Lewis." Olivia yelled at him.

Nick was about to get up from his chair and grab Olivia before she made matters worse but Amanda shook her head, as Finn came walking back into the squad room and put his hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"So don't you ever fucking bring up my mother or father again, you got that?" Olivia asked "Because I will make sure you regret it." Olivia growled.

"But Detective Benson you did not answer my question…" Tucker began but Olivia cut him off.

"Screw your questions; take these questions to someone who is a crooked cop. Lay off my coworkers and my girlfriend." Olivia shouted as she pushed Tucker back making his back hit the wall. "I did not hold a former New York City detective, and Detective Amanda Rollins hostage, and beat them to death. You want to know who did Brian Fucking Cassidy." Olivia shouted and Cragen came walking out of his office. "So take these fucking questions to him, and fucking do something with him. Put him and Barba in prison, better yet let me take care of them and they will wish they were fucking dead. So help me, I see you around here again asking questions about me or any other Special Victims Detectives and you will regret it. Do I make myself fucking clear Tucker?" Olivia shouted at him.

"Benson" Captain Cragen shouted

"Save it, I am done." Olivia told him as she took off to get a cup of coffee.

"You might want to get a hold of your people Cragen" Tucker told him and then left the squad room.

"You deserved it" Cragen mumbled under his breath but it did not go unnoticed by his detectives who all smiled at him. They always knew he would have their back no matter what.

Amanda slowly got up from her chair and made her way into the break room. "You okay?" Amanda asked softly.

"Amanda, that isn't taking it easy." Olivia told her as she turned to look at her.

"Yeah well you are much more important, plus it was a short walk." Amanda said with a smirk.

"You are stubborn do you know that Detective?" Olivia asked as she walked over to Amanda and wrapped her arms around her gently.

"I learned from the best" Amanda told her with a wink, as Cragen came walking in.

"Sorry to interrupt girls, but I want you both to leave. Go home, get some rest. That is where you are supposed to be anyway. Don't worry I will handle everything." Cragen told them.

"I am sorry Captian if I made things worse by going off on Tucker." Olivia told him.

"Don't worry Liv, I heard what he said about your mother. I got your back." Cragen told her and Olivia nodded.

"Thanks Cap" Olivia told him softly.

"No problem, now go the both of you." He told them and they both said goodbye to Nick and Finn and left.

The drive to their hotel was a silent one, and a rather fast one which is surprising for New York City with traffic. Once they arrived Olivia helped Amanda to their room, where they were greeted happily by Frannie. "Hey girl, oh I missed you so much" Amanda told her dog with tears in her eyes, as she dropped to her knees, with the disapproval of Liv, but she totally understood how much Amanda had missed Frannie, and how much Frannie missed her.

"I'm going to take her out." Olivia told Amanda once the hello session was over and helped Amanda over to the couch. "Don't move" Olivia told her as she put the leash on Frannie. "I mean it" Olivia told her once more before she walked out of the room.

Ten minutes later when Olivia returned with Frannie, she was pleased to see Amanda had listened to her and was still seated on the couch. "Well Detective you do have listening skills after all." Olivia joked after she took the leash off Frannie and walked over to her blonde girlfriend on the couch.

"Surprise" Amanda said with a smile.

"You hungry?" Olivia asked her and Amanda shook her head. "You sure? You know you have to eat" Olivia told her.

"I know Liv, I am okay. If you are hungry you can order something." Amanda told her softly.

"I'm good." Olivia told her as she wrapped her arms around Amanda gently. "I missed you, so much. I was so scared, if I lost you, I don't know what I would do." Olivia whispered against her girlfriend's hair.

"I am so sorry I stormed out on you Liv" Amanda choked out.

"Shh, don't baby. It's okay." Olivia told her as she held her tightly never wanting to let her go.

The two women sat on the couch for a long time just holding each other and thankful for one another. Neither knew how much time had passed, but it was now dark. "I think I will take some food now." Amanda said softly.

"And what would you like?" Olivia asked as she pulled away from Amanda.

"What would you like?" Amanda asked with a smile, and Olivia knew this game all too well.

"Whatever you like" Olivia told her and Amanda got a smile on her face. "What is so funny?" Olivia asked.

"Stacks on deck. Patron on ice. We can pop bottles all night. Baby you can have whatever you like. I said you can have whatever you like." Amanda started to sing.

Olivia chuckled at her girlfriend "You would" Olivia told her. "Late night sex, so wet and so tight, I'll gas up the jet for you tonight and baby you can go wherever you like, I said you can go wherever you like." Olivia sang back to her with a smile. "Now seriously what do you want to eat?" Olivia asked with a laugh and Amanda gave her look over and flashed that smile that always made Olivia go weak in the knees. Olivia shook her head "No, I am off-limits. You heard the doctor, rest for two weeks Amanda Rollins." Olivia told her.

"You are no fun" Amanda pouted

"Sorry doctor's orders" Olivia told her and Amanda got another grin on her face "What or am I going to regret asking?" Olivia asked.

"What if you dress up in a sexy nurse costume?" Amanda asked with a smile and Olivia chuckled.

"No and no" Olivia shirked. "Oh my god this is going to be a long two weeks." Olivia told Frannie as she jumped on the couch between them.

"Fine, you are seriously no fun Olivia Benson" Amanda continued to pout "But I will take a cheeseburger." Amanda told her with a sweet smile.

Olivia nodded and got up to go to the hotel room phone and called down to room service. "Hi yes this is Detective Olivia Benson." Olivia told the woman who answered.

"Good evening Ms. Benson what can I get for you this evening?" The woman asked.

"Can I have an order of two cheeseburgers, both with extra pickles. Two sides of fries with ketchup, two bottles of water, and for dessert two slices of chocolate cake" Olivia ordered.

"Of course, your order will be up shortly Detective." The woman told her and Olivia thanked her and hung up.

"Chocolate cake?" Amanda asked with a smile.

"Hey I have a craving" Olivia shrugged.

"A craving Liv?" Amanda asked with a laugh.

"Yes what is so wrong with that, you get them all the time." Olivia told her as she stuck out her tongue at her girlfriend.

"And extra pickles?" Amanda asked

"That was for both of us, and that is nothing new" Olivia told her in a matter of fact tone and Amanda just laughed.

Their food didn't take long to be delivered to their room, once they were done eating, Olivia cleaned up and they both decided they were going to curl up in bed and watch a movie, but before the opening credits ended they were both fast asleep in each other's arms.

The movie was long gone and over when something woke Olivia up from her sleep. "No, no, no please don't" Amanda shouted as she stirred in her sleep.

Olivia knew that it wasn't good to wake someone up from a nightmare, but she knew how it was to relieve a traumatic moment over and over in a dream and decided to wake Amanda up. "Hey shh, it's okay. It's over babe I'm right here." Olivia whispered softly to Amanda who jumped awake with tears in her eyes.

"Liv?" Amanda whispered and Olivia pulled her close to her.

"Shh, baby it's okay. No one is going to hurt you, I got you." Olivia whispered as she ran her hand slowly and gently up and down Amanda's back.

"I could see him, he was on top of me.." Amanda started to tell her but then started to cry harder.

"Shhh, I got you" Olivia whispered softly and then it hit her what Amanda had just said. "Baby look at me." Olivia told her softly.

Amanda pulled back from Olivia and looked her in the eyes, and Olivia reached up to whip the tears gently away with the pads of her fingertips. "Baby I need you to answer me something." Olivia told her and Amanda nodded her head. "Elliot told me you weren't raped by Lewis, is that true?" Olivia asked as softly as she could, wanting and needing to know the answer.

Amanda nodded her head. "He didn't touch me, except when I was tied to the chair." Amanda whispered.

"Then baby who was on top of you?" Olivia asked and Amanda started to tear up again. "I know baby, but please tell me." Olivia pushed gently.

"No one who was there with Lewis." Amanda whispered. "It was back in Atlanta." Amanda told her and Olivia felt her heart drop. She didn't know what happened back there, but what occurred with Lewis had made these memories resurface.

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><p><strong>Authors Note: Well there is Chapter 17, I seriously cannot believe this story is already 17 chapters in! It wouldn't be without all you amazing readers! <strong>

**Please review and let me know what you all thought of this chapter and a little side note the song Amanda and Liv sang was _"Whatever You Like"_ by T.I. Which I do not own.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Authors Note: Thank you all for the reviews, and Once again I do not own any of these characters. **

**I hope you all like this chapter, this honestly has to be one of the hardest things I have ever written. Tissues may or may not be needed, depends on the reader. **

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><p>"<em>No one who was there with Lewis." Amanda whispered. "It was back in Atlanta." Amanda told her and Olivia felt her heart drop. She didn't know what happened back there, but what occurred with Lewis had made these memories resurface.<em>

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><p>Olivia held her girlfriend close as she let her cry on her shoulder, Amanda was like Liv she didn't let her guard down often, but when she did Liv was always there to catch her. Olivia didn't mind if Amanda didn't talk, she knew right now wasn't the time with everything that has happened, and she respected her girlfriend's privacy but she would be lying if she said she wasn't curious on what happened to Amanda in Atlanta.<p>

Olivia was content just holding Amanda and letting her cry, it broke her heart to see her girlfriend so fragile, but what she was going to be told would shatter her heart into a million little pieces. "He is the reason on why I left Atlanta." Amanda mumbled against Olivia's shirt, and Olivia just held her tightly not wanting to push her girlfriend, she wanted her to talk on her own terms not someone else's.

Amanda pulled back from Olivia gently, and looked her deep in the eyes and asked in an almost childlike voice. "Please tell me you won't be disappointed with me?"

Olivia took her girlfriend's hand in her own "I could never be disappointed with you, even if you lit this whole hotel room on fire right now for no reason." Olivia told her "But please don't do that" Olivia said with a soft smile and Amanda let out a little laugh. "But seriously you could never be a disappointment to me, so don't ever think that I would think that about you Amanda, I love you." Olivia told her and squeezed her hand tightly.

Amanda nodded her head slightly as she somehow got enough courage to tell Olivia what happened to her. "I was undercover with my partner, and you know how undercover goes, sometimes it takes only a couple of weeks, sometimes it can drag on for months. Well this time it dragged on for months." Amanda said softly and Olivia nodded her head. "Well one night we had to go to this nightclub, we were sitting at the bar, and I got up to go to the ladies room really quick to follow one of the women we were watching. And you know how you should always get a new drink and never pick up the one you left unattended, well I thought this since I left it with my partner I could trust him, well I was wrong." Amanda told her as she swallowed trying to stop the tears from forming.

Amanda took in a breath before she continued "I started to feel a little woozy but I just figured it was the alcohol even though I didn't drink a lot, but I really didn't eat much that day, so I figured my body wasn't absorbing the alcohol as fast as it should have been. Before the night was even over, everything was basically one giant blur. I still don't remember everything that happened." Amanda told her and then stopped and Olivia pulled her close and held her tightly once again.

"Shh, it's okay." Olivia whispered but Amanda shook her head.

"No you need to know." Amanda told her as she pulled back. "He slipped me something, when I was gone. The next morning, well it was really afternoon when I woke up in an empty hotel, I had no idea where I was and my clothes were completely torn, and my body was completely sore. Once I had found my cell phone, I called my sister and she took me to the hospital. Once the tests came back, it proved that I had indeed been raped and drugged." Amanda choked and Olivia pulled her close with tears in her own eyes.

"I knew it was my partner, before everything went black, I was with him in his car. The nurse asked if I wanted to report it and I told her I was a detective so I would handle it and I left. I thought I could forget about it and put in the back of my mind and never once did I ever think about confronting my partner on what happened that night. But as weeks went on, things got tougher." Amanda paused to pull herself back together. "And then I missed my period and I thought it was because of all the stress I was under, but I went to the doctor anyway." Amanda told her.

"Oh honey" Olivia whispered as she squeezed her hand.

"He told me I was pregnant." Amanda whispered and tears came flowing down. "Once I started to show, everybody at work would ask who the father was and I told them it was nobody they knew. But I could feel the eyes on me from my partner and I knew he knew she was his." Amanda told Liv as she looked down at their joined hands.

"She?" Olivia asked and Amanda nodded.

"I was having a little girl; I wasn't going to give her up. I would raise her as a single mom." Amanda whispered.

"Amanda what happened?" Olivia asked softly, but she felt like she already knew the answer.

"I had a stillbirth" Amanda whispered and all the tears she was holding back were let loose and Olivia felt her heart-break.

"Oh my god Amanda" Olivia choked and pulled her girlfriend in for a tight hug never wanting to let her go.

"I wanted so badly to be a mom, I might not be fit to be and would probably be a horrible one, but I so desperately wanted to be." Amanda sobbed. "That's why I left Atlanta. I couldn't even look at him, because every time I did, I was reminded of that innocent life that was loss." Amanda said in between sobs.

"Oh Amanda, I am so sorry honey." Olivia told her softly as she rubbed her back. "And don't you even think for a second that you would be a horrible mom, because I have seen you with kids and trust me when I tell you this, you would be the best fucking mom there could be." Olivia told her.

"You really think so Liv?" Amanda asked as she pulled away from Olivia and wiped the tears from her eyes.

Olivia nodded "Yes I do."

"Did you ever want to have kids Liv?" Amanda asked and Olivia nodded.

"Yes I did, I even tried to adopt but I was told I wasn't qualified because of my job, and because I am a single parent." Olivia told her remembering the memory.

Amanda smiled sweetly "I know this isn't the time, and maybe I am still high from some of those hospital meds. You know they give you good stuff there" Amanda laughed slightly "But lets do it." Amanda told her with a smile.

Olivia looked at her confused "Do what exactly?"

"Lets have a baby and plus you are already having cravings!" Amanda told her with a huge smile. Olivia was shocked and she didn't say anything. But slowly the smile on Amanda's face started to turn into a frown "Oh God, Liv It just came out I'm sorry I didn't….." Amanda began to ramble but Olivia grabbed Amanda's shirt and pulled her toward her and kissed her to shut her up.

"Shut up and stop making fun of me getting a craving, it happened once and you get them all the time." Olivia whispered against her lips and kissed her again. "I would love to have a baby with you." Olivia told her as she pulled away from the kiss with a giant smile.

Now it was time for Amanda to be confused "Wait what?"

Olivia giggled "You are so adorable when you are confused."

"Liv did you just giggle?" Amanda asked in shock and Olivia nodded "But you never giggle." Amanda told her with a smile. "And I do not get cravings all the time."

"Well what can I say; you have that effect on me." Olivia told her as she kissed her again. "And yes you do, must I remind you of the time you bought six things of ice cream because you had a craving for it but didn't know what kind you wanted?" Olivia asked with a smile and Amanda laughed. "But I am serious let's have a baby." Olivia whispered as she kissed once again.

"You really mean it?" Amanda asked and Olivia nodded "But look at my past…" Amanda began but Olivia cut her off.

"Mandy, we both have a horrible past, but that doesn't change the fact on how much I love you, and how much I would love to have a baby with you. " Olivia told her with a smile.

Amanda smiled back at her "Then let's do it Olivia Benson, let's have a baby."

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><p><strong>Authors Note: There is chapter 18, Hope you all liked the way I ended this chapter. <strong>

**Please review and let me know!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Authors Note: Thank you all for the reviews, I am so sorry it took a few days to update, I had a wicked headache that wouldn't go away, and I just couldn't seem to find a way to get this chapter right. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, and once again I do not own any of these characters.**

**Also one quick clarification I would like to make, neither Amanda or Olivia is pregnant yet.**

**Now without any further ado, enjoy Chapter 19**

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><p><em>Amanda smiled back at her "Then let's do it Olivia Benson, let's have a baby."<em>

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><p>Amanda and Olivia spent the rest of the night talking, until they both passed out in each other's arms. But morning came too early for them; they both were woken up by Olivia's cell phone ringing. "Ugh please turn it off." Amanda mumbled as she nuzzled closer to Olivia who chuckled at her as she leaned over to get her cell phone off the night table.<p>

"Benson" Olivia answered.

"Babe please, go somewhere else with that phone." Amanda mumbled.

"Olivia it's Cragen, can we talk for a second?" Cragen asked as Olivia got up from the bed and walked out into the living room area of the hotel room.

"Yea, what's up?" Olivia asked.

"When Alex was over at your hotel room, what did you two do?" Cragen asked and Olivia froze.

"We talked, she kissed me, and then I asked her to leave." Olivia explained hesitantly.

"Anything else Liv?" Cragen asked in that tone that told Olivia he knew she was lying.

"We umm, I umm got a bit drunk." Olivia whispered.

"That's what I thought…" Cragen began but Olivia cut him off.

"What do you mean that's what you thought? What is going on?" Olivia asked

"I found out who told Tucker about you having a supposed drinking problem." Cragen explained.

"Oh my God, please tell me it wasn't Alex?" Olivia asked in shock.

"I'm sorry Liv, but she did." Cragen told her.

"THAT VINDICTIVE BITCH!" Olivia shouted loudly, and then it dawned on Amanda that she wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep, and whatever was happening on that phone it didn't sound good, so she decided to get up from the bed.

"Liv, don't do anything. I will handle this." Cragen tried to calm one of his best detectives down.

"She tried to ruin my life, and now she probably just ruined my career." Liv shouted

"Babe what is happening?" Amanda asked Olivia walking up behind her.

"And now Amanda is being stubborn and getting out of bed on her own." Olivia said with a slight laugh.

"Liv, I will handle this, your career is not ruined. Now go take care of Amanda." Cragen told her and then they both said goodbye.

"Babe please tell me what is going on." Amanda pleaded with her girlfriend who was currently seeing red.

Olivia walked them both over to the couch and sat Amanda down gently "You know you are supposed to be taking it easy." Olivia explained.

"I am fine Liv, now please tell me what is going on." Amanda tried once again.

"Alex went to Tucker and told him I had a drinking problem." Olivia explained and Amanda's eyes went wide.

"That bitch" Amanda shouted and Olivia put her hands on Amanda's shoulders.

"Babe, please." Olivia warned

"No Liv, she can't get away with this. What just because you rejected her. I am sorry but I am not letting her get away with doing this to you." Amanda told her.

Olivia took her hands off Amanda's shoulders, and took both her hands in hers "Please Amanda, Cragen said he will handle this. Please just take it easy, and let me take care of you." Olivia pleaded and Amanda just looked at her. "Babe, I know. I am mad too I am, but please this isn't good for you and for your recovery." Olivia told her sweetly. "And I don't want anything happening to you, so don't make me handcuff you." Olivia told her and then mentally slapped herself for saying that.

Amanda smirked "Oh really detective" Amanda winked.

"No, I swear Rollins you have a one tracked mind." Olivia told her with a chuckle.

"How can I not with you Liv?" Amanda smirked and Olivia rolled her eyes.

"You hungry?" Olivia asked her after a few minutes of silence.

"Did you mean what you said last night?" Amanda asked looking down at their conjoined hands and Olivia nodded her head. "Do you even know what I am referring to?" Amanda asked needing to make sure.

"Yes Amanda I do, and yes I still want to have a baby with you." Olivia told her as she leaned into kiss her. "I would love nothing more than to have a baby with you, our baby." Olivia whispered against her lips before she kissed her again. "I love you Amanda Rollins, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Olivia whispered as she looked Amanda deep in the eyes when she pulled back from the kiss.

"I love you too Olivia Benson" Amanda told her with a smile. "But first Liv, I need to tell you something." Amanda told her and Olivia looked at her.

"Anything" Olivia told her.

"I don't want to go back to our apartment." Amanda confessed.

"That's okay baby, because neither do I." Olivia told her with a smile and Amanda smiled back. "I have an idea, but you don't have to agree if you don't want to." Olivia explained and Amanda nodded. "I was thinking we could get a house together, me and you, a new place, a new start." Olivia told her shyly and Amanda pulled her close and wrapped her arms around her.

"I love that idea Liv." Amanda whispered in her ear as she held her close, but their moment was cut short by Olivia's cell phone once again. "You know I think I am going to throw that phone of yours out the window." Amanda told her with a laugh.

"Then you can have fun explained to Cragen why I never answer my phone anymore" Olivia laughed as she grabbed the phone "Speaking of the devil." Olivia said before she answered. "Benson"

"Hey Liv, I have some good news." Cragen told her and Olivia smiled and pressed speaker phone.

"What's up?" Olivia asked

"I think you and Amanda should come down to the station for this one." Cragen explained. "But take your time, Amanda I know you are listening, and you better start relaxing and taking it easy or I am putting you on desk duty for a year." Cragen warned lightly.

"Yes sir." Amanda said with a smile.

"We will be there soon." Olivia told him before she hung up the phone.

Amanda and Olivia got ready and took Frannie outside before they left and drove to the station, but before they did they stopped at a local diner and got a quick breakfast. When they walked into the station, they couldn't help but notice there was hardly anybody around. As they arrived on to the floor of the squad room they noticed the doors were shut and the blinds were pulled. "Okay that is weird." Olivia stated.

"I wonder if Finn, had another breakdown and locked everybody out" Amanda laughed as Olivia pulled the door open and both women got tears in their eyes as they saw what was in front of them.

Officers and Detectives along with Finn, Amaro, and Cragen were standing in the squad room and once Olivia opened the door they all started clapping while they held up a banner which said "CONGRATULATIONS DETECTIVE ROLLINS & BENSON"

Amanda and Olivia stood in the doorway speechless, when Finn walked over to them. "Well come on don't just stand there. You are heroes." Finn explained and dragged them gently into the squad room.

Cragen walked over to them and pulled Olivia aside "Congratulations Liv, IA called off their investigation on you. Welcome back, even though you were never gone." Cragen told her and Olivia nodded her head with a smile.

Once all the other officers and detectives were gone and it was just Olivia, Amanda, Finn, Nick, and Cragen, Captain Cragen stood up and held his hand up in the air. "Alright everybody listen up please." Cragen announced and everybody directed their attention to him. "I didn't want to announce this until Olivia and Amanda were safe and their situation was resolved, but it's done and so am I, I'm leaving." Cragen told them.

"What, now?" Amanda asked in shock and Olivia's mouth dropped.

"Hey is this part of the deal? Because if it is…" Olivia began as she stood up from her desk but Cragen cut her off.

"No, no, no, this is my call." Cragen explained to her.

"Where are you gonna go Captain?" Finn asked standing up.

"Around the world actually, Eileen has two tickets for a six months cruise and I have enough accrued leave to take me through my mandatory retirement date. If I stay I make less than if I leave." Cragen explained and Amanda got up from her chair.

"Cap, a cruise okay." Amanda told him with a smile, holding back tears. "If anyone earned it."

"I am proud of my time here, and I'm honored and grateful to have worked with the finest unit of detectives I have ever known. Nick, you are going to get through this, you are too good of a man, and too good of a cop not to." Cragen told hold him and then turned to Amanda. "Amanda, I was never sorry I bought you up from Atlanta. I would do it again." He told her and Amanda smiled as tears rolled down her face. "And Finn, what can I say. For a guy who never should have been a SVU Detective, you're okay." Cragen told him as he nodded his head .

"Right back atcha Captain." Finn told him with a smile. "Nobody could ever take your place."

Cragen nodded his head as he made his way over to Olivia "Well for the meantime Detective Benson will, she's read. Now it's not easy-going from player to coach, so don't bust her chops. But if they do you bust them right back." Cragen told her as Olivia smiled as she fought hard to hold back the tears as everyone started to clap as Cragen made his way to his office.

Amanda walked over to Olivia and leaned down and kissed her check as she whispered "Congratulations Detective I mean Sergeant Benson"

Olivia smiled and turned her head to give her girlfriend a proper kiss "I will be right back, and Finn can you keep her seated please." Olivia chuckled and she walked over to Cragen's door and knocked on it before she opened it. "We should throw you a party." Olivia told him as she walked in.

"I don't like parties." Cragen stated with a smile as Olivia chuckled and shut the door. "This is good, word of advice?" Cragen asked

"Oh please" Olivia told him happily with a laugh as she walked over to him.

"I gave my whole life to NYPD, and I forgot to live my own. Me and Eileen it's a Hail Mary, it's a shot at happiness." Cragen explained and Olivia nodded her head with a smile. "People use to say this to me all the time and I never understood what it meant, but take care of yourself." Cragen told her and Olivia smiled as she nodded her head. "You deserve it." Cragen added as Olivia just nodded her head again, at the moment she just couldn't form words and Cragen gave her a hug.

Once Cragen leaned back from the hug, he grabbed the bag that he packed which contained all his items from his office. "I mean it Olivia; don't forget to live your own life. You and Amanda deserve happiness and you have it with each other, don't lose that." He told her and then walked over to the door, but before he opened it he turned around and looked at her and asked. "Oh and Olivia do something with the place will ya?"

Olivia smiled and nodded her head and Cragen smiled right back and opened the door and walked out of his office one last time which just became Olivia's.

Olivia sat on the desk thinking when there was a knock on the door, taking Olivia out of her thoughts. "Yea?" Olivia asked clearing her throat.

Amanda opened the door and stuck her head inside "Can I come in?"

Olivia nodded her head, and Amanda walked in and shut the door before she walked over to Olivia who wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her close. "I thought I told Finn to keep you seated?" Olivia asked with a smirk.

"Yeah you did, but I wanted to come and see you to make sure you were okay" Amanda told her with a smile while she wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck. "So Sergeant, how does it feel?" Amanda asked as she leaned her forehead against Olivia's.

"Strange" Olivia whispered.

"Well what is that saying you said earlier?" Amanda asked pretending to think. "Oh right new place, a new start. Well Sergeant Benson, this is only part of our new beginning together." Amanda told her with a smile as she kissed her.

Olivia pulled back from the kiss and once again rested her forehead against Amanda's "You are right, and there is no one else I would rather start this new beginning with, I love you Detective Rollins." Olivia whispered.

"I love you too Sergeant Benson." Amanda told her with a smile "Okay Sergeant Benson is strange to say, but it does have a ring to it." Amanda whispered before she gave her girlfriend a loving deep passionate kiss.

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><p><strong>Authors Note: I hope you all enjoyed, I took Captain Cragen's speech from when he left, but changed and added somethings to it. <strong>

**I was thinking on this being the end of this story, and making a sequel called "New Beginnings" But if you guys just want me to continue on this story i will. Let me know, also let me know what you all thought of this chapter. **

**And I apologize again on it taking me a few days to update. Hope this chapter made up for it! **


	20. Chapter 20

**Authors Note: Hey everybody, thank you all for the reviews! After thinking it through I decided to end this story here, and start a sequel. The sequel will be called "A New Beginning" And it will be posted here soon. **

**Thank you all for all the reviews, follows, and favorites. Also a big thank you to even the silent readers, and for taking the time out of your day to read this story. It really means a lot. **

**I hope you all enjoyed this story, and hope you all enjoy the sequel as well. **

**xx WillAnyOneKnowYouLikeMe **


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